Damon Evans... In the Words of Gob Bluth, COME ON!

The sordid details have just been released, and it ain't pretty:

University of Georgia athletic director Damon Evans repeatedly referred to his position at the school before his arrest on a drunken driving charge and asked the patrol officer if there was "anything you can do without arresting me," according to a police report released Friday.

Evans told the Georgia State Patrol officer several times he was the school's athletic director before he was arrested late Wednesday and charged with DUI and failure to maintain a lane, according to the report. Also arrested with him was 28-year-old Courtney Fuhrmann, who was charged with disorderly conduct.

"I am not trying to bribe you but I am the athletic director of the University of Georgia," Evans said, according to the officer identified in the report as M. Cabe.

The officer also said that Evans asked to be taken to a motel instead of jail or to be let off with a warning. According to the report, Evans later said: "I am not trying to bribe you, but is there anything you can do without arresting me?"

In the report, the officer noted he found a "red pair of lady's panties between (Evans') legs." When he asked Evans, a 40-year-old married father of two children, what he was doing with the underwear, Evans said: "She took them off and I held them because I was just trying to get her home," according to the report.

Evans told the officer that Fuhrmann was nothing more than a friend, according to the report. But the officer said that Fuhrmann later told him that the two had been seeing each other for "only a week or so."

"Just to let you know, it will be erased because he is the athletic director of UGA and he has that power," Fuhrmann told the officer, according to the report.

She was charged with disorderly conduct after police said she repeatedly ignored warnings to stay inside the 2009 BMW while the trooper was conducting the field sobriety test and later acting "combative" in the back seat of the patrol car," according to the report.

"I apologize and don't want to use my influence but she is trying to protect me," the officer said Evans told him.
Fuhrmann told the Associated Press on Friday the charges against her are a "misunderstanding from what the media is portraying it as" but declined to speak further.

Emphasis mine. I fully expect three dead hookers to turn up buried in Evans' back yard by the end of the week, as well as a notebook with "WILLIE MARTINEZ NON-COVER 2 PLAYBOOK" on its cover.