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Incredibly Stupid? Yes. All-time Stupid? Well, let's just see...

When Kyle asked me to author the first guest post during his vacation, I had already penned my pessimist's guide to the 2010 Georgia football season, and my 2010 SEC-and-World-Cup prediction, and I was honestly worried that I might not have a compelling topic about which to write. Sufficed to say, I had nothing to worry about.  I now have no problem trying to find a topic.

Only a few short hours have passed since Damon Evans was arrested in the late hours of Wednesday night, and even fewer hours have passed since the news broke around lunch time Thursday morning.  In that short time, however, we've seen emotions ranging to angry and distraught (mostly from Georgia fans) to mocking and disparaging (mostly from sorry, classless Gator fans.  Have I ever told you how I feel about Florida?).  MaconDawg's take on the situation was reasoned and well-thought-out, and since it was written only about 3 hours after the news broke, I conclude that he must be a heartless lawyer, capable of separating feelings and humanity from the reality of any situation. (You know, on second thought, this probably isn't the best venue, or time, to be disparaging lawyers, since a significant portion of the readership seems to fall into that category, and Damon will certainly need a good one...)

Personally, my first reaction when I heard the news was disbelief.  Then, it registered, and I immediately transitioned into a mixture of anger, rage, and abject disappointment in Damon's choices.  As of the time of this writing, it's not clear whether Evans will lose his job over this or not, but even if he doesn't, his credibility and image have suffered a hit that will not be easily repaired, if it ever can be. 

There is no question that Damon's actions and choices were incredibly stupid, and exhibit some of the poorest of poor judgement ever seen.  Do his actions, however, which could unravel a very successful 6-year career in one night and start into a descent one of the most profitable athletic departments of all time, fall into the realm of all-time stupidest actions ever taken?  I was pondering that very question this past evening, and decided that I would pose the question and supporting evidence to you.

Star-divide

Where do Damon Evans' actions fit in with the following?

Exhibit A: Damon Evans

  • The Subject: Damon Evans, Athletic Director at the University of Georgia
  • The Offense: Arrested for DUI in Atlanta with a "mystery guest" in his passenger seat that may or may not have been a tranny hooker and Georgia Tech student. (Yay for starting rumors!)
  • Audiovisual Footage of the Incident:  One of the worst (or best, depending on your perspective) celebrity DUI pics of all time.
    Damon_evans_20100701111424_640_480_medium

  • The Aftermath: At this point, unknown. In a best case scenario, his credibility and image would be damaged, and he would successfully continue his job after a suspension and fine.  In a worst case scenario, he would be fired, Michael Adams would replace him with a money-grubbing, pencil-pushing, bean-counting yes-man... and you don't even want to start thinking about how things could go downhill from there.

Exhibit B: Woody Hayes

  • The Subject: Woody Hayes, Winningest Head Coach of all time at The Ohio State University
  • The Offense: In the fourth quarter of the 1978 Gator Bowl, the Buckeyes were driving down the field for a game-winning field goal, and were within striking distance. Charlie Bauman, a nose guard for Clemson, then intercepted an Art Schlichter pass and ran it back to the Clemson 36-yard-line, where Coach Hayes just happened to be standing.  When the Clemson player stood up, the notoriously-volatile Hayes grabbed Bauman's shoulder pads and threw a punch which landed at a point between the player's helmet and shoulder pads (i.e. his neck), then proceeded to apparently try to choke him.  Hayes had to be physically separated from the Clemson player, and a brawl started that cleared the benches on both sides of the field.
  • Audiovisual Footage of the Incident:  One of the most famous clips of all time, and it's even now on YouTube with the Ohio State fight song, for extra rubbing-nose-in-the-dirt-ishness:  
  • The Aftermath: The immediate result was that the Buckeyes were charged with two 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalties, and Woody Hayes was ejected from the game that Ohio State then lost 17-15.  Before the day was over, Ohio State had fired Woody Hayes, and one of the best NCAA coaches of all time had his hall of fame career cut short because he couldn't control his urge to beat the hell out of someone when his team lost.  (Welcome to the lives of hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of SEC football fans, Woody.)  Ohio State would go from winning 7 conference championships in 8 years to winning 7 in the next 20.  Not Vanderbilt territory, but it certainly was a step down from "great" to "just good."

Exhibit C: Tonya Harding

  • The Subject: Tonya Harding, U.S. National Women's Figure Skating Champion, 1994
  • The Offense:  Ms. Harding conspired with her ex-husband and bodyguard to hire a hitman to break the legs of her rival figure skater, Nancy Kerrigan, before the national championships in 1994.  The attack on Kerrigan only bruised her leg, not breaking it, so both Kerrigan and Harding ended up on the 1994 Olympic team in Lillehammer.  (Now that's an awkward team bus.)
  • Audiovisual Footage of the Incident:  I'll spare you, because we all remember the, "Whyyyyyyy?  Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? yelping of Nancy Kerrigan grating on our ears like a vuvuzela on a World Cup telecast. Instead, just a simple picture: Nancy_kerrigan_biography_2_medium
  • The Aftermath: The world finally found out that tiny little figure skaters are not all little graceful giggling teenagers.  Tonya Harding outed herself as the morally-flexible trailer-trash that she is, choked at the Olympics, and launched a fantastic career of celebrity boxing and sex-tape-making.


Exhibit D: Rafael Palmeiro

  • The Subject: Rafael Palmeiro, the 4th baseball player in history to have over 500 home runs and 3000 hits, in addition to three Gold Gloves and 4 All-Star appearances.
  • The Offense: Using steroids less than 5 months after he told a United States Congressional Committee, "I have never used steroids, period," while gesticulating in an emphatic manner.
  • Audiovisual Footage of the Incident:  Sadly, none of the actual drug use (which could have cleared this whole mess up), but we do have this:
  • The Aftermath: Even though he was caught red-handed, Palmeiro still continues a Pete Rose-esque steroid denial to this day.  Nevertheless, the rest of the world (which does worry about pesky little things like "evidence" and "lying") has mercilessly "conspired" against him to make sure he never plays baseball again, and that despite his hall-of-fame career, he will never actually be enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Exhibit E: Zinedine Zidane

  • The Subject: Zinedine Zidane, one of the best soccer players of all time.
  • The Offense: During the 2006 World Cup final France and Italy had fought hard, dived hard, and for once, the French hadn't surrendered in an important battle against a determined and powerful foe. In the 110th minute of the match (that's the 20th minute of extra time), and seemingly out of nowhere, Zidane headbutted Italy's Marco Materazzi so hard that, for once, he didn't have to dive to draw a card against an opposing player.
  • Audiovisual Footage of the Incident: The World Cup final is one of the most videotaped and photographed sports events in the world.  Ergo:
  • The Aftermath: France's greatest football player ever, and one of the best of all time, was red-carded and ejected from the most important match in which a player can ever hope to take part.  France went on to lose the final to Italy on penalty kicks, and for the rest of time, Zinedine Zidane will be known by all but the most zealous of soccer fans as "the guy who headbutted another guy and got ejected in a World Cup final."  Not, "that guy who helped France win their first (and possibly second) World Cup."  Not a man that was one of the best players Juventus or Real Madrid will ever have, who scored a game-winning goal in both a Champions League Final (2002) and a World Cup Final (1998).  Not the man who was voted "Best European footballer of the previous 50 years" in 2004.  Nope... he's the guy who earned himself a lifetime of disgrace and dishonor for attacking another player like it was a WWF WWE UFC match in the freakin' World Cup Final.

There have been many other examples of incredibly poor decision-making, but there are the first few that sprang to my mind.  How does Evans' indescretion compare among these other incredibly stupid decisions that tarnished a sports figure's career and image forever? Or can you think of another that's worse?

Poll
Who's career-threatening/ending decision was the stupidest?
Damon Evans
133 votes
Woody Hayes
144 votes
Tonya Harding
160 votes
Rafael Palmeiro
16 votes
Zinedine Zidane
21 votes
Other (explain in comments below)
4 votes

478 votes | Poll has closed

Comment 35 comments  |  0 recs  | 

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Aw, geez.

I really hate it when people mess up there/their/they’re and who’s/whose. And then I go and make the unforgivable mistake in the poll question… which can’t be edited. What can I say except that’s what happens when you’re typing a story at 1:00 in the morning.

by vineyarddawg on Jul 2, 2010 9:13 AM EDT reply actions  

Curses!

For all of those participating in the guest-posting over the next several days, we say: “Well done.” (or, “Damn you and your mad html skillz with embeds, audio-visual aids and bullet points gettin’ all textually uppity and stuff.”)

I almost voted for Woody Hayes in the #1 slot, and considered Zidane. As far as Tonya Harding goes…I don’t know if she ever really had a career. I mean, that girl hit every branch of the ugly tree when she fell out the top of it on the way down and her 15 minutes of fame would have ended when the fires of Lillehammer were extinguished. If anything, her actions gained her notoriety she would have never had if she hadn’t resorted to whacking Nancy. No way Madison Avenue would have ever embraced Tonya Harding. She just looks too much like Brian Urlacher.

Raphael Palmerio? I could never get behind a guy who so blatantly tried to rip-off Keith Hernandez. I’m not talkin’ ‘bout Hernandez’ game. I’m talkin’ about his look. No one could rock a porn-stache like Hernandez. Any attempt to emulate falls embarassingly short.

As far as my winner: Damon Evans, of course. If your alma mater was about to start paying you a half-mil per year, with bonuses and eveything that goes along with running the Athletics Department of the greatest institution in the history of institutionalization…and you screw that up…well, you have pretty much won the prize for all-time stupidity.

"If we score, we may win. If they never score, we'll never lose."
-Erk Russell

by DavetheDawg on Jul 2, 2010 9:31 AM EDT reply actions  

I guess I have to go with Evans there.

Hayes and Zidane both had sterling careers before their bad decisions(Hayes up there in Ohio, Zidane over there in Europe), so that they’re remembered as standouts in their field who had one not-so-shining moment. Those were also both arguably “heat of battle” reactions that were not so much indicative of their stupidity as their poor impulse control. :)

Harding’s career actually took off when she committed criminal conspiracy, which is a separate and sad commentary on society all by itself.

Palmeiro did louse up an almost certain trip to Cooperstown, which gets him strong consideration in my book. The debate about whether PEDs actually enhance performance aside, who knows, perhaps Palmeiro just got caught doing the only thing that was going to get him enshrined to begin with?

Damon Evans, however, is the one who may have managed to most thoroughly ruin a career that was clearly on the upswing. And he did it in one of the most predictably and mundanely stupid ways possible. A way that many ordinary citizens have managed to ruin things. Weaving down Roswell Road in a shiny BMW late at night with a young woman who is not your wife is, for a guy like Damon Evans, really stupid. It’s something he did not have to do, and something he should have known not to do. As Kyle pointed out, practically any of us would have given him a ride if he called. And the guy certainty has the scratch for a cab. I don’t know that there is a better definition of stupidity than taking an unnecessary risk which carries with it a high chance of failure and dire consequences if failure occurs. And that’s exactly what Damon Evans did.

by MaconDawg on Jul 2, 2010 9:56 AM EDT reply actions  

I'm honestly surprised that so many people are voting for Tonya Harding.

I couldn’t decide between Woody Hayes, Palmeiro, or Damon. I lean towards Damon for the same reason that you do… he ruined a very promising career that was on the upswing.

Still, when I was a child and I asked my father, “Who is Woody Hayes?” his answer to me was, “He was a really good football coach who got fired because he hit a player during a game.” And given the man’s incredible coaching pedigree and accomplishments, the fact that his legacy is to always be introduced with the worst act of his professional life is just a pitiable shame.

by vineyarddawg on Jul 2, 2010 10:23 AM EDT up reply actions  

I'm with Macon...

Hayes and Zidane are somewhat heat of the moment things. Hayes probably not as much as Zidane, but close enough in my mind. As he said, Harding’s kind of started her career, so that’s a no. And Palmeiro was at the end of his career, so he didn’t really risk much except maybe being a manager somewhere, or sitting in the Rangers TV booth ala Keith Hernandez.

Evans was a different beast. It wasn’t so much in the middle of an athletic event and “heat of the battle”, it didn’t jump start a unexpected career, or put an ugly close on one coming to an end. I wouldn’t really think of it as comparable to the other situations.

by Mr. Sanchez on Jul 2, 2010 5:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

I understand how you could vote for Hayes or Zidane...

but nothing was premeditated about what they did. I guess Zidane kinda thought about it, but Tonya Harding ordered an EFFING HITMAN. A hitman. Still trying to find her sex tape.

by Dawgomatic,forthePeople on Jul 2, 2010 9:58 AM EDT reply actions  

Believe me...

… you don’t want to see it. And I’ve not seen it, but I’ve seen her with her clothes on… and that’s enough.

by vineyarddawg on Jul 2, 2010 10:13 AM EDT up reply actions  

I agree - I voted Harding too

Maybe it’s the lawyer in me, but the others seemed to get caught up in the heat of the moment. I didn’t consider Woody, because although he stepped way outside the lines (okay, outside the stratosphere) in his reaction, the argument can be made that he was reacting to the Clemson player’s standoff motion toward the OSU bench, as if to say “take that!” It’s not even like he made that great of a play. The QB didn’t see him and threw it right to him, and the LB was then quickly ripped down by the QB.

by skigator93 on Jul 2, 2010 12:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

On an unrelated note . . .

thanks to you vineyarddawg (and the rest of you intrepid guest posters) for subbing in while Kyle’s away. I’m going to leave this one up today, but will have something Free Form Friday-ish tomorrow. Except that it will be posted on, you know, Saturday.

by MaconDawg on Jul 2, 2010 10:00 AM EDT reply actions  

Thanks, MaconDawg and DavetheDawg.

I didn’t say this in the article, but I appreciate the opportunity to be asked to write a guest post. It’s an honor to be thought that well of, and I am thankful for it.

by vineyarddawg on Jul 2, 2010 10:18 AM EDT up reply actions  

You're more than welcome...

I’ve gotta admit, the whole DE affair has kinda put a damper on things while Kyle is away…but Americans have always turned to humor when things are bleak…and southern Americans do humor better than anyone…so Vineyarddawg has set the bar pretty high…and it still should be an entertaining few days as some of us “regulars” get to attempt to do what Kyle and MaconDawg do on a daily basis. While working full time jobs. While tending to family. And trying to drive at the same time. Blogging ain’t easy.

"If we score, we may win. If they never score, we'll never lose."
-Erk Russell

by DavetheDawg on Jul 2, 2010 10:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

Can somebody please explain to me...

… why this was among the top results when I searched for “blogging ain’t easy?”

I’m looking forward to your entry, Dave… extra points if you work butter into the Evans conversation. (Double bonus if you manage to mention the 28-year-old passenger in the same sentence!)

by vineyarddawg on Jul 2, 2010 11:00 AM EDT up reply actions  

damn!

is that popin’ or pimpin’?

"If we score, we may win. If they never score, we'll never lose."
-Erk Russell

by DavetheDawg on Jul 2, 2010 4:09 PM EDT up reply actions  

train wreck

This is another PR train wreck for UGA football and sports. We just can’t shake the excellent mediocrity on the field or the upper echelon stupidity off the field. We seem to be National champions of bad press.

2 years to the Cup

by Caniac233 on Jul 2, 2010 10:09 AM EDT reply actions  

Tonya Harding, far and away.

Hers was a malicious, premeditated felony.

Damon Evans? We’ve seen this before.
Woody Hayes? Who hasn’t wanted to punch Clemson after a loss to them?
Rafael Palmeiro? His carreer was already pretty much over. And a baseball player using steroids and lying about it not a news story at this point.
Zinedine Zindane? That other guy called his mom a terrorist! His headbut made him a national hero in France!

Dum spiro spero - "While I breathe, I hope"
State motto of South Carolina

by The Feathered Warrior on Jul 2, 2010 12:21 PM EDT reply actions  

Zindane

Loses 3 points for headbutting the guy in the chest. Who headbutts in the chests? Can that even be called a butt? Doesn’t that indicate “butting heads?” Plus, the other guy appeared to start his flopping before contact was even made.

I hate soccer.

by skigator93 on Jul 2, 2010 12:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

I had to go with Hayes.

I’m looking at this based on who actually ended their career. Zidane was old and was retiring anyway, so basically he just tarnished his reputation. Harding never really had a career to begin with, Palmeiro’s career was already over, and we’ll see what happens to Damon. Woody ended his career because he punched a college kid…I have to go with him.

by hailtogeorgia on Jul 2, 2010 2:14 PM EDT reply actions  

I'm surprised

that there are not mentions of certain NBA/NFL players on this list of stupid decision making. Gilbert Arenas comes to mind, or is that too easy? Somehow, bringing a loaded gun to a locker room seems more serious than a head butt…that wasn’t even really a head butt.

by DawgGirl32 on Jul 2, 2010 4:56 PM EDT reply actions  

Aaaand it's worse than we thought.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/news/story?id=5350178

Apparently he had that girl’s panties in between his legs in the car. She claims they had been seeing eachother for about a week.

He’s gotta go. Now. What a scumbag.

by DawgGirl32 on Jul 2, 2010 6:41 PM EDT reply actions  

Jeez

Where does rabbit hole on this thing end? At this point, Damon’s going to be lucky to have his job by the end of the holiday weekend.

http://hobnailboot.wordpress.com/

by AuditDawg on Jul 2, 2010 9:30 PM EDT reply actions  

Having read the report

I’m not so upset about the girl, the panties, or even the drinking and driving. I’m really truly furious at the report that he clearly attempted to use his position as AD to evade the consequences of his actions. Just the statement “I’m not trying to bribe you but…” makes me furious. Yes Damon, that’s exactly what you were trying to do, bribe the cop. The fact that he wasn’t charged with attempting to bribe a police officer is pure mercy.
I hope Mrs. Evans has found herself a good attorney all the evidence she needs.

"Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink- under any circumstances." Mark Twain

by podunkdawg on Jul 2, 2010 9:44 PM EDT reply actions  

He'll get off with a good lawyer...

“If the Red Panties don’t fit…you must acquit.”

"If we score, we may win. If they never score, we'll never lose."
-Erk Russell

by DavetheDawg on Jul 2, 2010 9:56 PM EDT reply actions  

+1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"One thing I will never do as long as I’m at Georgia is lose to Florida." - Herschel Walker

by tankertoad on Jul 2, 2010 10:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

now that’s funny.

No way this guy keeps his job now. Hopefully he had a morality clause in his contract. He doesn’t deserve to get paid after bringing this much embarrassment to your university.

I wonder if UTEP needs an AD. This guy would get along great with Mike Price!

What you're seeing is team spirit. It's like the Holy Spirit, but more powerful.

-Hank Hill

by Zoltar on Jul 3, 2010 2:41 AM EDT up reply actions  

Woody Hayes

He had the most to lose. In 1 state he is a god; in 49 he is the jerk who punched an opposing player.

by Hobnail_Boot on Jul 3, 2010 5:00 AM EDT reply actions  

I thought it was

CMR’s idea to mix and match uniforms…………….guess it was really DE’s idea……….. which explains his wearing red panties?

by JRL on Jul 3, 2010 7:29 AM EDT reply actions  

Zidane's legacy was set

For people outside the the States, the headbutt is just like ending the last sentence of an awesome paragraph with a typo comma instead of a period.

Inhale deep, like the words of my breath—I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death

MMA For Real

by Anthony Pace on Jul 3, 2010 2:48 PM EDT reply actions  

Not sure I agree.

If Michael Jordan, in Game 7 of his last NBA Finals appearance, sucker-punched John Stockton because he was trash-talking to him, do you think that action would merely be an afterthought to his career, even if the Bulls had still won?

I think his image would have suffered immensely, and he would not have had all of the opportunities that he has had since… just like Zidane. Zidane’s involvement with soccer in the past 4 years has been mostly behind the scenes and unpublicized, though he has been involved in many positive ways. I think Jordan would have been the same in that scenario.

by vineyarddawg on Jul 3, 2010 4:29 PM EDT up reply actions  

It's the different cultures

In 2007 I split a summer between Paris and Brussels and he’s still very much revered there. On match days for the local leagues people wear Zidane jerseys. Matterazzi is viewed in a far more villainous light.

When I spoke to some of my twenty-ish peers about Zidane they always spoke of 1998 as well as his later years with Real before anything negatively. It’s just like how here no one remembers the hatred for Ali during his prime years.

Inhale deep, like the words of my breath—I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death

MMA For Real

by Anthony Pace on Jul 3, 2010 5:55 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions  

Athletic Director Damon Evans: How to destroy your entire life in one night

Let’s hope University of Georgia President Michael Adam will do the right thing Tuesday in his scheduled news conference and fire athletic director Damon Evans. Evans is an embarrassment. He can no longer lead. He has to go.

Evans was arrested for drunk driving in the Buckhead area of Atlanta last Wednesday night. According to the state trooper’s report, Evans said, "I am not trying to bribe you, but I am the athletic director of the University of Georgia." He also asked the officer if there was "anything you can do without arresting me."

Ironically, Evans was the face of the don’t-drink-and-drive public service announcements that appear on the scoreboard at the University of Georgia football stadium. Imagine that. Do as I say, not as I do. That’s not the message you need to send to young people.

But wait, it gets worse. Evans is married and has two children. Evans’ passenger was 28-year-old Courtney Fuhrmann, a real estate firm asset manager. She was drunk and arrested for disorderly conduct.

In the report, the trooper said he found a "red pair of lady’s panties between (Evans’) legs." When he asked Evans, what he was doing with the underwear, Evans said: "She took them off and I held them because I was just trying to get her home."

Evans was a huge success, but threw it all away.

Read more at www.imagecpr.com.

by Brian Pia on Jul 4, 2010 8:46 AM EDT reply actions  

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