This Is How You Know It's The Offseason.

First Chris Low writes a column equating (sort of, I guess) Alabama and Florida to the duopoly of Church and State, enjoying a divided monarchy over SEC country. Chris is a professional college football writer. This time of year he's forced to squeeze blood from a daily series of turnips. I understand and sympathize. Plus he's the only college football writer I know who ever used "duopoly" in a column, so he gets a pass.* 

Digressing, Holly Anderson points out the absurdity of Low's metaphor, and posits (in this blogger's opinion) a far more appropriate analogy. 

This being the offseason: Step One=Bad metaphor. Step Two=Good metaphor. Step Three=Auburn football as middle-aged manparts in the comments section. That September 2nd Minnesota/Middle Tennessee State matchup can't get here fast enough . . .

*Other than Furman Bisher. But he meant to type  "doo wop is unholy" as a protest against those communists Frankie Lyman and The Teenagers, so I don't think it counts.