Given that most football analysis and statistics from me would be more or less on the same level as the bar top over which they were spoken, I generally excuse myself from putting them forth in any but that environment. This Saturday, however, we find ourselves facing an opponent well within my area of expertise: dicking around on the weekend. It is my sincere hope that Dear Leader T Kyle will excuse this borrowing of his headline format for the exercise.
Some people never quite shake the notion, learned at college, that Thursday is the Official Unofficial Start Of The Weekend. Bleary Friday mornings spring like mushrooms from the wet grass of Thursday evenings spent like Saturday nights. And if you think that least sentence was disorienting, Alabama is playing tonight. One could, of course, watch the Tahd exact maximum burnination on their overmatched and patsy of the week, Georgia State. It could be argued that watching SEC football any day of the week is Time Well Spent, but with the outcome of this game facing about as much uncertainty as the recent results in Myanmar, we might want to spice things up for maximum time wastage. Play along with Coach Trogdor at home while watching the game and laugh merrily at the cries of the burning peasants. (Handsomely paid peasants, at that.)
Frigga is the high goddess of Norse mythology and wife of Odin. The Old English frīgedæg "Frigga’s Day" eventually became our "Friday." One of the most commonly accepted meanings of her name is "beloved," and without the anticipation of a Dawgs game to occupy most of the firing neurons in our grey matter, I might suggest you leave the comforts of home to find yours. The goddess is also associated with married women, so benuptialed readers might want to skip the nightlife scene and catch Fresno at Boise State. Or, you know, turn off the TV and talk. Here’s some background music.
Which brings us to Saturday, and all the nihilistic pursuits one might undertake during a Georgia bye week. A good pre-game taunting of Tech fans is always a good time. You may wish to remind them of this incident, and remark on its interrelatedness to their season as a whole. ["GEEK TRUCK" being a pretty good name for the Ramblin' Wreck itself.]
Wisconsin/Michigan is a game which may provide some early distraction for those who don't wish to see how Sakerlina can win vs. Troy with the entire team's eyes trained on Atlanta for four quarters. Noon around my household is sometimes several hours past cocktail hour on a Saturday, but such marathons require planning, discipline and research for proper execution. These brief hours of sunlight might be best used to git up, git out, and git somethin', like the ingredients for some seriously artery-clogging, mouth-burning gastronomic creations. (I skipped the optional dry blue cheese and served it with corn chip scoops and Brooklyn Lager.)
But for real, y'all: that's enough not watching SEC football on a day when SEC football is being played. How about Ole Miss at LSU? A matchup already discussed on these internets that lends itself nicely to spicy food and properly executed cocktail consumption.
The curious among us might want to spare a glance at Army vs. Notre Dame at 7:00, if only to see how many of the approximately 57,000 seats will be filled at Yankee Stadium, where the game will take place.
Hopefully more than that. It's not going to be that cold, and small "Y" yankees generally regard anything in the 40-50º range as "football weather" anyhow.
The Battle of Tennessee goes down half an hour later, but who cares? Life should be breezing right along in jaunty fashion for you at that point anyway. Any advice I could give for this stage would and should be adhered to in only the loosest of ways, and any direction is really up to a stiff breeze as you sail into the night sea, confident in your mastery of the Bye Week.