I am many things in this life... but "filled with original creativity" is not one of them. What I am good at, however, is
playing off of stealing other people's ideas and turning them into something just different and funny enough to get away with it. And over the years, I have taken note of the Stephen Colbert "You're on notice!" board that is floating around... oh... every English-speaking website in the free world. (And probably the non-free world, too... except all of the slots there say, "People who are viewing this image.")
And so, I offer what I hope to be a regular occurrence... dare I say, weekly (in football season)... spot of my own in this space: You're On Notice!
Those on notice this week are:
Special Note: This week, I have refrained from adding references to certain regular posters here at Dawgsports.com, since the Mayor politely asked us to lay off of him for now, and I'm a man of my word.
1) Carlton Thomas up the middle - I admit that I'm more "crazy, passionate fan" than "X's and O's genius," but really... somebody please explain to me how a guy who's 5' 7" and 176 pounds (fully clothed and soaking wet) can plow into into an SEC defensive line over and over and have any reasonable expectation of success? I mean, I get it that he's tenacious and has a huge heart. So was Rudy Ruettiger... but that kid didn't even get to play in a game until the last 2 plays of his senior year, and only after the game was already over. He couldn't even function as an every-down back against a bottom-tier
Big XII Pac 10 Pac 12 team, for goodness sake.
2) UGA Players being hurt - Caleb King has a sprained ankle that apparently keeps him out of 3 whole games and a large portion of a fourth. A.J. Green comes back, only to have cramps and some sort of hamstring problem. Branden Smith has a concussion and is now out indefinitely (pending medical clearance). And T.J. Stripling, a freshman who was good enough to make it onto the field immediately, suffered a season ending injury. Seriously, man... does God hate us or something?
3) UGA Players being arrested - We all thought the torrent of arrests was going to stop once the season began. Then Demetre Baker gets a DUI. (Though, were any of us driving that night, we would have also had reason to get a DUI.) Seriously guys... you live in a town where the police target you just as if it were a game of "Pin the tail on the guy emerging from an alley." Lean to figure out how to live with it.
4) Michael Adams - Why Michael Adams? Because he's a jerk, has stolen money from and is a disaster for University, and everybody that has ever worked with him hates him. Plus, I have it from a very authoritative source inside the UGA administration that he eats puppies for breakfast. Any other questions?
5) UGA Students w/tickets - Listen, I understand that you hate it when the football team sucks. We all do. But you haven't paid an absolute minimum of $1,000/year just for the right to buy 4 tickets to the game, so suck it up and show up. (And show up on time, too. And get off my lawn.) You're an embarrassment to the University when you fail to show up so massively that the stadium looks 1/4 empty.
6) "Mark Richt must go" - This is being discussed widely elsewhere on the blog. Let's just say that I think this is a vast overreaction to the situation at hand and leave it at that.
7) SEC Officials - I'm only going to say this one time (per week): Georgia danced in the end zone and personally embarrassed Penn Wagers 3 years ago. LET IT GO and stop calling cheap penalties on us every game.
8) The Seiler Family - And in the middle of this unmitigated disaster of a meltdown at the University of Georgia, Uga is the solid founda... what? What's that? The family that owns Uga hasn't announced a successor almost 11 full months after his predecessor's untimely passing? Well, then you're on notice, too, Seiler family. We need some hope... we need something strong and reassuring to turn to when times are down... WE NEED UGA VIII