Exclusive: Dawg Sports Interviews Uga VIII

by T Kyle King on Oct 22, 2010 12:15 PM EDT in Football

(Author’s Note: It has been a busy week for me, so I am only just posting this, and I apologize for the delay. Last Saturday, when I was in Athens for the homecoming game, I was able to put my immense blogger street cred to good use by scoring an exclusive postgame interview with the Georgia Bulldogs’ new mascot, Uga VIII. Unfortunately, it took me several days to transcribe the tape, but I believe the result is worth the wait. Here now, without further ado, is the exclusive Dawg Sports interview with Uga VIII.)

Dawg Sports: It’s been a whirlwind year here in Bulldog Nation, what with Uga VII’s passing, Russ’s service as interim mascot, and all the turmoil surrounding the Georgia athletics program. Now that you are on the job, what should we expect to see from your administration, and what steps will you take to reverse our decline?

Uga VIII: Woof. Woof woof. Woof, bark, woof woof woof. Sniff.

Dawg Sports: Well said. If I may follow up, though, are you at all concerned that such an approach would risk a backlash from rival programs?

Uga VIII: Bark, bark bark bark. Woof bark, bark woof, woof? Woof woof, woof woof bark. Bark, bark woof, bark woof!

Dawg Sports: All right, fair enough. Tell us a little about the dog behind the sweater. When the collar comes off, and Uga is off duty, what is Big Bad Bruce like during his down time?

Uga VIII: Woof bark, bark bark woof bark bark; bark bark, woof woof bark woof bark. Sniff. Woof.

Dawg Sports: Finally, tell me a little bit about your game day experience. What’s it like to be Uga on the field in Sanford Stadium?

Uga VIII: Bark bark bark woof. Pant, pant. Slobber, lick. Snore.

My thanks go out to Uga VIII for taking the time to speak with me.

Go ‘Dawgs!

Poll

How has the exclusive Dawg Sports interview with Uga VIII affected your view of the Georgia Bulldogs' new mascot?

I was 100 per cent in favor of Uga VIII before, and I'm 100 per cent in favor of Uga VIII now.

35 votes

I was 100 per cent in favor of Uga VIII before, and I'm 110 per cent in favor of Uga VIII now.

62 votes

I was on board for "Team Russ," but Uga VIII has brought me around to his side.

15 votes

Honestly, I liked Uga VIII better before reading what he had to say.

11 votes

I had my doubts about Uga VIII before, and this interview has only confirmed the reasons for my misgivings.

5 votes

Wait . . . was this interview real?

12 votes

Kyle, this is the dumbest thing you've ever written.

72 votes

212 votes | Poll has closed

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Comments

Kyle, just wait!

You know there’s one self-amused blogger just waiting to pounce on you again!

BTW, her post against yours is mysteriously missing!

For what it’s worth, I found this interview to be perspicacious and pithy! Thanks, Kyle!

If you're gonna do it, go ugly early.

by Inteljumper on Oct 22, 2010 1:51 PM EDT reply actions

Those kinds of trite, childish replies...

… only prove what I’ve been saying all along.

The current administration has shown that it is incapable of recruiting talent that is ready to perform from the first game of the season. What, are we supposed to expect this kind of immature, churlish response to all questions for what little Uga VIII has left of his freshman season? There was not a a single scratch of oneself… not even the slightest hint of a lunge towards an opposing player in his remarks!

I say kick Uga VIII out of the program, and Fire Sonny Seiler Now. This season is already a failure, and we need fresh blood at the helm!

I suggest the people who handle Bully at Mississippi State, or we could pluck Handsome Dan’s handlers from obscurity at Yale. Or, if we really want to shake things up a bit, we should be able to lure Smokey’s handlers from Tennessee for the right offer.

by vineyarddawg on Oct 22, 2010 1:56 PM EDT reply actions

Have patience

His replies might have been childish but you have to remember he is still young. Yes at the moment Bully or Smokey might look like a better choice, but Uga VIII has a lot of unrefined potential. I mean this is his first season and in his first game he shutout a team that we haven’t shut out since 1983. We need to give him a little time to right the ship and I think he has started that with the last game and it will continue with a good performance tomorrow.

by gloryglory on Oct 22, 2010 2:53 PM EDT up reply actions

The Uga line has been on a downward trajectory since Uga IV.

It’s time to clean house. If you don’t agree, you’re either a fool, retarded, or foolishly retarded.

HANDSOME DAN FOR GEORGIA MASCOT!

(p.s. I see that you’ve only posted a few times here, gloryglory, so please don’t take offense… it’s a satire.)

by vineyarddawg on Oct 22, 2010 3:40 PM EDT up reply actions

Vine

you know what the obvious (but incredibly not politically correct sounding) retort is right?

I can bake like a demon.

by podunkdawg on Oct 22, 2010 4:19 PM EDT up reply actions

Does it have anything to do with...

… the fact that anything named “Handsome Dan” might not… uh, you know… “like girls” enough to sire another mascot in his line?

‘Cause I think that’s the direction I would go.

by vineyarddawg on Oct 22, 2010 4:37 PM EDT up reply actions

What are you talking about?

Uga V had that great lunge at the Auburn Player and was declared the best mascot in 1996 and premiered in a movie. Uga VI lead the dogs to two SEC champs, two Sugar Bowls, and more than 20 victories over ranked opponents. Uga VII had a promising career cut short due to heart failure, but still posted a better winning percentage than Ugas I, III, and V. While Uga VIII is currently undefeated,
So to say that the Uga line has been on a downward trajectory since Uga IV qualifies you as a dunderhead my dear sir.

by gloryglory on Oct 22, 2010 4:27 PM EDT up reply actions

That's so dumb.

Uga V was in the right place at the right time, and capitalized off of all the previous foundation and hard work that Uga IV had laid down. All V did was just sit there, walk up and down a sidewalk in Savannah, and pant on camera for a couple of minutes.

Uga VI was so overrated that it’s not even worth talking about, and Uga VII couldn’t even stand up for 45 straight minutes without having to go lay down on a bag of ice and take a nap. Talk about your crappy S&C programs!

by vineyarddawg on Oct 22, 2010 4:35 PM EDT up reply actions

What?

Uga V showed great effort, if it wasn’t for the handler he would have had that Auburn player. Uga VI has more wins and a better winning percentage than any other Uga oversaw the largest margin of victory in a bowl game when we beat Hawaii by 31. Say all you want about Uga VII and his S&C but he went undefeated in bowl games.

by gloryglory on Oct 22, 2010 4:57 PM EDT up reply actions