Three Almost Entirely Random Thoughts, One of Which is Relevant to SEC Football

Sleep is not my strong suit. For me, sleep is all about inertia: when my body is at rest, it tends to remain at rest, but, when my body is in motion, it tends to remain in motion. If I'm awake, I have a hard time getting to sleep, no matter how tired I am, which causes any number of scattered thoughts to pop into my head in the wee hours of the morning.

These are three of the thoughts that dawned on me while I was trying to get to sleep after the national championship game:

1. In Dr. Seuss's ABC, David Donald Doo dreams of a duck-dog, and the duck-dog looks suspiciously like the Queen of Quincy's quacking quacker-oo from that same book. Since the duck-dog appears only in David Donald Doo's dream and the Queen of Quincy's quacking quacker-oo exists in real life (relatively speaking, of course), David Donald Doo may be the Tommy Westphall of the Dr. Seuss universe.

 

2. Depending upon whether you choose to view the glass as half-full or half-empty, Corey Smith is either the watered-down version of the Drive-By Truckers or the hard-core version of Brad Paisley. I tend to lean towards the latter assessment, because "Let Me Love You on a Back Road" is the R-rated version of "Ticks," in essentially the same way that "Porky's" was the R-rated version of "American Graffiti."

3. The SEC has produced four consecutive national champions but has not produced a repeat national champion since Bear Bryant. If that trend continues, we can rule out Alabama for 2010, so the question then becomes which SEC team will rise up to take the Tide's place next year. Les Miles's clock management against Ole Miss restored the previous conventional wisdom that he is nothing more than a lucky dufus; the kinder, gentler Urban Meyer is unlikely to have the killer instinct to overcome the Gators' considerable personnel losses; and no one outside of Knoxville is impressed by the way Lane Kiffin transformed Tennessee from a program that recruited well, played good defense, and lost seven games in 2008 into a program that recruited well, played good defense, and lost six games in 2009. Unless next year is the "next year" South Carolina fans have been anticipating since 1892, the 30th anniversary of the Bulldogs' last national championship may mark the occasion of their next one.

Relax; I said "may."

Go 'Dawgs!

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