Over or Under? South Carolina Edition.
by MaconDawg on Sep 9, 2009 9:45 PM EDT
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PrintNo, you may not choose the under for each hypothesis just because you're feeling down like that. Saturday will be here before you know it so without further delay or unnecessary explanation, I ask you, over or under?
1) Joe Cox will complete 59.9% of his passes.
2) Stephen Garcia will throw for 239.9 yards.
3) Aron White will have 2.9 receptions.
4) Aron White will have 49.9 yards receiving.
5) Caleb King will carry the ball 4.9 times.
6) Tiny Floating Matthew McConaughey will crank out In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida on the bongos 4.9 times. Before halftime. (Thanks again, Orson. That one just keeps on giving.)
7) Steve Spurrier will toss his headgear 1.9 times between kickoff and the final buzzer.
8) The South Carolina offense will muster 299.9 yards of total offense. (Hint, last week against North Carolina State they had 256.)
9) The University of Georgia, which has won roughly 77% of the football games it has played against the University of South Carolina, will scratch out 299.9 yards of total offense. (Hint, last week they had . . . 257. Which is both a. more than 256 and b. more than a little depressing).
10) A.J. Green will have 5.9 receptions. I know, you'd think it was a slam dunk, wouldn't you?
11) Branden Smith will touch the ball 2.9 times on offense.
12) Orson Charles will touch the ball 2.9 times on offense.
13) The Gamecock extra point unit will miss on 0.9 attempts.
14) South Carolina's Brian Maddox will rush for 89.9 yards.
15) David Pollack's interception of Corey Jenkins in the 2002 game will be shown 1.9 times during the television coverage of the game.
Bonus:
16) Some variation of the phrase "Steve Spurrier really gets up for/ looks forward to/ hates/loathes Georgia" will be used 0.9 times.
And a brief programming note. Cocktail Thursday will make its scheduled appearance tomorrow evening. So don't lose heart if you show up here at 7:00 a.m. looking for new and inventive ways to utilize your stash of hard liquor and don't find anything. On the other hand, if you do show up here at 7:00 a.m. looking for hard liquor applications, perhaps you should do a little self evaluation. I'm just saying.
7:00 p.m. however? Oh yeah, we'll have your back. Until later . . .
Go 'Dawgs!!!
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I'll play:
1. Under.
2. Under.
3. Over.
4. Under.
5. Over.
6. Over.
7. Over.
8. Under.
9. Under.
10. Under.
11. Under.
12. Over.
13. Under.
14. Under.
15. Over.
16. Over. Wait . . . by the TV announcers or by me personally? Either way, over.
Go 'Dawgs!
Just a quick note to say...
That looking for hard liquor applications at 7 a.m. isn’t that bad. Using them at 7 a.m. is the reason for self-evaluation.
And in reference to Cocktail Thursday, I think you need a 2 this week. One for if it’s going well, another for if it’s going poorly (you know…something to really kill the brain cells and blur the vision so one can’t see the abomination on the screen — Straight Everclear or Golden Grain should do nicely).
I really need you to come through this week because I will never again let a “Ginger Assassin” enter my bloodstream. Clearly it was the kiss of death.
Behold, this year's College Gameday Sign:
"Joe Cox -- He circumcises ANGELS!"
Upon re-reading,
The second to last sentence came off pretty creepy and gross. Just saying…
Behold, this year's College Gameday Sign:
"Joe Cox -- He circumcises ANGELS!"
why not
1) Under
2) Over
3) Under
4) Under
5) Under
6) Under
7) Over
8) Over
9) Over
10) Over
11) Under
12) Over
13) Under
14) Under
15) Under
Bonus:
16) Over
Yes, that is my son. Yes, that is a bottle of Crown.
Ok, here we go
1) Joe Cox will complete 59.9% of his passes. Over
2) Stephen Garcia will throw for 239.9 yards. Way under
3) Aron White will have 2.9 receptions. Under
4) Aron White will have 49.9 yards receiving. Under
5) Caleb King will carry the ball 4.9 times. Over
6) Tiny Floating Matthew McConaughey will crank out In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida on the bongos 4.9 times. Over
7) Steve Spurrier will toss his headgear 1.9 times between kickoff and the final buzzer. Under – just one good one towards the end
8) The South Carolina offense will muster 299.9 yards of total offense. Under
9) The University of Georgia, which has won roughly 77% of the football games it has played against the University of South Carolina, will scratch out 299.9 yards of total offense. Barely over
10) A.J. Green will have 5.9 receptions. Under
11) Branden Smith will touch the ball 2.9 times on offense. Over
12) Orson Charles will touch the ball 2.9 times on offense. Over
13) The Gamecock extra point unit will miss on 0.9 attempts. N/A
14) South Carolina’s Brian Maddox will rush for 89.9 yards. Over
15) David Pollack’s interception of Corey Jenkins in the 2002 game will be shown 1.9 times during the television coverage of the game. Under – just once
Bonus:
16) Some variation of the phrase “Steve Spurrier really gets up for/ looks forward to/ hates/loathes Georgia” will be used 0.9 times. Over
I'll pass on most of the player specific ones for UGa
1) Joe Cox will complete 59.9% of his passes. Under – Stafford was 15-25 with Knowshon and NFL talent.
2) Stephen Garcia will throw for 239.9 yards. under – If it’s over, it means the visitors have had a tremendous day. I would take 200 with no INT’s right now.
6) Tiny Floating Matthew McConaughey will crank out In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida on the bongos 4.9 times. Under – TFMM pumps out high voltage tunes for game day bro.
7) Steve Spurrier will toss his headgear 1.9 times between kickoff and the final buzzer. Under – I think we’ve run out of new ways to surprise or frustrate him by now.
8) The South Carolina offense will muster 299.9 yards of total offense. Over – No logical reason. I just feel oddly serene about the game like I did heading into the Quincy Carter game.
9) The University of Georgia, which has won roughly 77% of the football games it has played against the University of South Carolina, will scratch out 299.9 yards of total offense. Under I hope Cox’s response to critics is indicative of a QB that is easily rattled.
10) A.J. Green will have 5.9 receptions. Under – Our DB’s are young, but more talented than last year, and two or three (didn’t see final cuts) from last year made an NFL roster.
13) The Gamecock extra point unit will miss on 0.9 attempts. Under
14) South Carolina’s Brian Maddox will rush for 89.9 yards. Under – Maddox is a plugger, but we will spread the carries around more and the big plays will come from Giles, Miles, or Sherman.
15) David Pollack’s interception of Corey Jenkins in the 2002 game will be shown 1.9 times during the television coverage of the game. Under once is more than enough
Bonus:
16) Some variation of the phrase "Steve Spurrier really gets up for/ looks forward to/ hates/loathes Georgia" will be used 0.9 times. Over I would bet as much money as Vegas would accept if this was a real wager
by GwinnettGamecock on Sep 10, 2009 12:43 AM EDT reply actions
I disagree on Garcia
If he throws for 240+, it not only does not mean the visitors have had a tremendous day, it means the visitors have had a terrible day and have been forced to rely on the passing game to play catch-up ball. I’d much rather see the Gamecocks throw for a bunch of yards than rush for a bunch of yards. I know it’s Steve Spurrier, but this is still the SEC . . . and even the Evil Genius generally had a balanced offense.
Go 'Dawgs!
Family tradition.
1. Over__Joe Cox will complete 7 of 10 before Norwood takes him out allowing Gray and Murray to lead the Bulldogs to victory.
2. Under__Garcia, aka Taneyhill without the ponytail, will hurl chunks greater distances than the yardage for which he passes as the re-energized Martinez inspired defense annihilates him.
3. Under__Aron White can’t spell Aaron. What makes you think he can play football.
4. Under__See # 3.
5. Under__Hopefully. King is another of those overrated metro area backs that should have gone to Tech.
6. Over___ No comment.
7. Over___If fewer than 2, then the Dawgs are in for a long day.
8. Under__And as Jackie Gleason would say, “G.D. Mustard’s go nuthin to do with football!” Where were your raised, son? Pitts, Georgia?
9. Over__"Scratch" is a type of chicken feed, son. I say, Son. You know, sorta like laying mash.
10. Over__ See # 1.
11. Over__Unfortunately, 2 of them will be on kickoffs he receives 8 yards deep in the end zone and runs out to the 10 while at least one will be as he knocks down Prince Miller who is in perfect position to down a punt at the 2 yard line. Oh, wait, that was last week, wasn’t it? Can we trade Smith and Caleb King to FSU for Greg Reid or is it Reed?
12. Under__Charles will play football Saturday like his relatives Welles and Bean.
13. I refuse to have anything to do with a sentence that has Gamecock and unit in it.
14. Under__NO ONE will rush for more than 89.9 yards against the Martinez defense this year. NO ONE, and that includes Tebow, Demps, and Rainey combined!
15. Over__David Who? That guy who looked terribly uncomfortable in a suit in last week’s debut of his new show? To quote the Gatornation, you Dogs are always living in the past.
16. Who cares? The entire universe knows that he dislikes UGA and that he owned us while he was at Florida. Beating him and the Gamecocks will NEVER make up for that. Never. Heck, I’d forfeit to him if it would guarantee a win against Florida. That’s how much Spurrier and his likes or dislikes mean to me.
Sorry I missed your radio appearance. I’m still working on the tv show.
Quick point on Aaron/Aron
In Aron White’s defense, that was Elvis’s middle name, and he couldn’t make up his mind how he wanted to spell it, either. I forget which way Elvis spelled it on his tombstone after faking his own death. (Look for Elvis and his former son-in-law, Michael Jackson, to go on a hugely successful tour together in 2010. It will put the Tupac/Aayaliah tour to shame.) (I am morally certain I misspelled “Aayaliah,” but, seriously, didn’t she and Tupac put out three albums apiece and appear in two films each after supposedly dying?)
The radio appearance should be a regular thing, so you’ll have another chance either next week or the week after.
Go 'Dawgs!
by T Kyle King on Sep 10, 2009 12:10 PM EDT up reply actions
It is my understanding that
The name appears as “Aaron” on Elvis’s birth certificate, but as “Aron” on the “death” certificate. I think the tombstone has “Aaron”.
So what you're saying, T. Kyle is that
this Presley guy could play football as well as this White guy. Can I say that here?
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