Ten things that probably, maybe, could, should happen in the SEC this year:

by DavetheDawg on Aug 4, 2009 3:41 PM EDT

Hello again, everyone. I’m feeling a bit frisky these days and decided I’d add a few thoughts as the pre-season is officially upon us.

1. Carolina does not win a road game this year. They’ll play the Dawgs close again, but this time we actually throw to the wide open tight-end instead of forcing the ball over the middle and win in the 4th quarter. Spurrier will go into exile after the season is over, never to be seen in public again. In fact, he stays indoors for the rest of his life and he loses all his pigmentation. Sad, really.

2. Florida whips Mississippi State. This year will be no different. However, traveling to Mississippi has been very hazardous for UF over the years. A key Gator goes down and is not available for the Georgia game the following week. I’m thinking Urban Meyer gets a large parasite.

3. Lane Kiffin does not beat Florida...ever. His Reign of Rhetoric will last exactly two years. His record is not what does him in. At a boosters meeting, he’ll accuse General Neyland of only being a Major.

4. Alabama underachieves. They’ve set the bar mighty high and in a hurry in T-Town. However, they’ll win 8 games this year and finish third in the West. They will, however, beat Auburn. Unfortunately, Saban oversigns by 57 players and some parents are getting a little fed up with his methods, to which Saban says, “I really don’t care.”

5. LSU is improved, but not enough to win the West. With time running out in a key late season game at Alabama, Les Miles tries an end-around on 4th and 27 from his own 2. The quarterback steps out of the end zone for a safety. It was a risky play because LSU had been up by one…

6. Kentucky loses 5 of their first 6 games, and then disbands football in early November. I wonder why?

7. Ole Miss will go undefeated, but get trounced in the SEC championship game. More to follow…

8. Vanderbilt. Nothing to see here…move along.

9. Arkansas is improved, but only slightly as Bobby Petrino quits mid-season to run for Governor. No explanation, other than he just couldn’t finish what he started…but politics seemed like a logical career shift.

10. Georgia runs the table. A #1 running back emerges early, and is supported by everyone else named Washaun, Richard, Caleb or Dontavious. Yeah, I think Carlton Thomas will be the one. All freshman skill players do contribute; some break out. Orson Charles is named SEC Freshman of the Year. Rennie Curran is All-American, and Joe Cox sets a Georgia single-season record for passing efficiency. We whip the West champion Ole Miss in a rout in the dome. Then, we meet Oklahoma for all the marbles. Dawgs win.

Tweet Comment 3 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

The only NC Stoops has won

. . . came versus a Richt-coached team. I’d rather play Texas, or an undefeated USC.

I disagree about the domestic exile for Spurrier. I say he spends the rest of his days on links, offering snarking comments to all who will listen.

Finally, I’m harboring a secret wish that Dan Mullen gets with his D guys and devises the most insanely brilliant Tebow-containing game plan based on Mullen’s knowledge of UF’s schemes and Tebow’s personal tendencies. MSU leads at the half, at which point Tebow wipes one of his tears onto the forehead of every Florida player, intones a blessing from Jehovah, and proceeds to lead a 600 yard, eight touchdown second half effort to put MSU away 70-17.

Leaving insightful football commentary and analysis to other people since 2006.

by wwcmrd? on Aug 4, 2009 5:25 PM EDT reply actions