On the Other Hand . . .

by T Kyle King on Aug 18, 2009 4:45 AM EDT in Football Comment 10 comments

I've been as pessimistic as anyone leading into the 2009 football season, but, for those inclined to look for hope, I am able to offer at least a word of encouragement; viz.:

Orson Charles was among the hottest prospects who inked national letters of intent last February. In the end, three schools were in the running for his services.

One was the Florida Gators, who threaten to become the country's marquee program with a third national title in four years. Orson Charles broke their national championship trophy with his butt.

Another contender was the USC Trojans, who have been the most consistently elite program of the 21st century. Their national championship trophy, too, took an untoward tumble.

Orson Charles ended up with the Georgia Bulldogs.

If going after Orson Charles and failing to get him means your national championship pedigree comes crashing down---literally---then is it really so outlandish to suppose that landing Orson Charles means you're bound for the promised land?

I'm still forecasting a down year . . . but, to those of you who have higher hopes, I say: keep hoping, Bulldog Nation, keep hoping.

Go 'Dawgs!

0 recs | Comment 10 comments | Share

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

Much, much better

How much fun is it to walk into a stadium thinking your team is going to lose?

The best reason I can give for our chances at going undefeated this year is simply that we are going to show up for every game.

by MikeInValdosta on Aug 18, 2009 6:56 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Orson Charles is the Chosen One

When he saw the Crystal Totem displayed in such a manner during his covert mission into the Heart of Darkness, he found no better way to display his distaste for its presence in that Sanctum of Scum and Villainy than destroying it with the most ritually impure part of his body — his buttocks.

We may never know if The Pointing One suspected the act was intentional, but of course we all saw the unholy rage he unleashed through his Acolyte and his many other azure and orange minions in his fury and lust for another Crystal Totem. I think we all know how that one turned out.

But young Charles’ act was no isolated incident. Indeed, it was an Omen of Glory, Glory. The destruction of the first Crystal Totem is the sign that has confirmed young Charles as the Chosen One, the one who will lead our holy and righteous Team to the Promised Land, to attain the National Championship of Myth.

You require more evidence? Consider this: no Bulldog will ever again wear a tunic emblazoned with the numeral “34.” And though Charles’ choice of the tunic numbered “7” may be wholly innocent from his perspective, Fate know the real truth: our Savior cannot wear 34, but he can wear 3 + 4. That’s right. The Freshman of Destiny foretold in prophecy has come again.

The 2009 BCS and Consensus National Champions will Georgia, led by Orson Charles, Heisman Finalist and First Team All-American. You heard it hear first.

Actually, no, you probably didn’t. But if by some insane miracle we actually do win It All, I’m pretty sure this will be as good an explanation as any.

Leaving insightful football commentary and analysis to other people since 2006.

by wwcmrd? on Aug 18, 2009 9:47 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs