100 Cocktails

by marktheshark on Jun 12, 2009 3:01 PM EDT

I've noticed on the comments sections that Kyle will hand out 100 cocktails to, what seems to me, those comments that are perfectly on the mark and/or incredibly witty. I find myself jealous at times, as I would love to be awarded the cocktails. I haven't received my own 100 cocktails, but not because of any oversight on Kyle's part, but because no comment of mine has merited the recognition. Anyways, which cocktail would you want if you had to 100 to drink (and Kyle was offering)? Mine would be the gin and tonic.

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To give credit where credit is due . . .

. . . the “100 cocktails” formulation originated (so far as I am aware) with Orson Swindle, who was basing it on Bill Hader’s “Saturday Night Live” impersonation of a drunken Peter O’Toole admonishing Mel Gibson for using alcoholism as an excuse for his anti-Semitic comments. (As an aside, Hader seems to me to be the funniest male “SNL” cast member of the last decade. Am I alone in thinking that?) I believe “100 cocktails” has replaced “QED, MFer” as the blogosphere’s default comment thread “attaboy.”

If I had 100 cocktails to choose from, I’d probably choose one of all of ‘em and two or three of several of them, but, if I had to make a pick, I’d stick with a whiskey sour.

Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Jun 12, 2009 3:11 PM EDT reply actions

Thanks for the clarification.

I was unaware of the background. I haven’t watched SNL regularly since the early ‘90s. That cast was amazing. Everything after that was a disappointment to me. There very well may have been outstanding cast members since then (Hader included). I just wouldn’t know myself.

If I ever make a comment worthy of the “attaboy,” and I run into you at a game in Athens (and recognize you and am able to introduce myself to you, and you remember that you handed me the kudos), I will try to hold you to the offer, literally.

Me: Kyle? T. Kyle King from Dawg Sport? I’m Mark, and avid reader. I post under “marktheshark.” Nice to meet you.
Kyle: Nice to meet you too. Go ‘Dawgs!
Me: Go ’Dawgs, indeed. Listen, a few months ago you offered me 100 cocktails. What do you say we go to The Globe and get started?
Kyle: I don’t think so.
Me: But you said “100 Cocktails to you, sir.” Aren’t you a man of your word?
Kyle: Security! Get this crazy man away from me.

by marktheshark on Jun 12, 2009 3:24 PM EDT up reply actions

Yeah . . .

. . . that’s exactly how that would go!

Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Jun 12, 2009 4:48 PM EDT up reply actions

Split decision

I would take Bombay Sapphire & Tonic for 30, Dirty gin martini (stirred, not shaken, and preferably with Beefeater) for 30, and a fine single malt scotch (preferably islay, but highland would be ok), neat, for the remainder.

If we’re talking about the Globe, however, I could also go for a Hoegaarden, Paulaner, or (depending on my mood) a Guinness instead.

by vineyarddawg on Jun 12, 2009 5:52 PM EDT reply actions

Well if Kyle's paying I'd have to go with the most expensive Johnny Walker there is . . .

or like an absurdily expensive bottle of wine, like $40 grand or something; I’m a Captain and Coke man myself but hell I can afford that stuff on my own so why not try something beyond your income bracket if you ever get the opportunity to do so. N.M.

by charlottedawg on Jun 12, 2009 7:28 PM EDT reply actions

Hopefully Kyle can afford that . . . if he can't I got a feeling we'd be doing a crapload of community service

for the bar; Or at least I would; Kyle might get out there alive; I’d be too busy getting my stomach pumped.

by charlottedawg on Jun 12, 2009 7:30 PM EDT up reply actions

Let me make it perfectly clear . . .

. . . “100 cocktails” is just an expression.

Starting next week, I’ll be replacing “100 cocktails” with “one 12-ounce store brand diet cola.”

Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Jun 12, 2009 9:47 PM EDT up reply actions

I think you're right, Kyle.

Diet Dr. Pepper does taste more like regular Dr. Pepper.

(obscure reference?)

by vineyarddawg on Jun 13, 2009 2:20 AM EDT up reply actions

I'd go with . . .

some combination of Abita Turbodog (on tap) and Jack & Coke. I would say Woodford Reserve bourbon (neat), but 100 of those would take me 3 football seasons.

by MaconDawg on Jun 12, 2009 9:30 PM EDT reply actions

DavetheDawg

Nothing fancy for me, please. Just an ice cold long-neck Bud and i’ll be just fine.

If I must partake of a cocktail, I think I’ll have my favorite summertime drink which is perfect to combat this south Florida heat and humidity: A Tanqueray and Tonic with lemon, please. And no yardwork today. I’m drinking.

"Man with hole in pocket feeling cocky."
-Confucius

by DavetheDawg on Jun 13, 2009 1:54 PM EDT reply actions

I'm surprised by the selections

I mean, I like gin just fine (I prefer it with tonic and a splash of Rose’s Sweetened Lime Juice instead of or in addition to an actual chunk of the fruit, because Rose’s tastes like my childhood — my folks were fond of gimlets, but that’s a story for another day).

BUT if I’m in a football frame of mind, it’s Wild Turkey and Coke, please. Or, even better, Turkey neat with a Coke back. And that’d be 101, of course.

And FWIW, I can take or leave Hader. He’s ok sometimes, but usually not one of my favorites. The current cast member that never fails to make me laugh these days is Kristen Wiig. Carrying on an apparent tradition among female cast members, I’m pretty sure she is downright insane (Poehler, Shannon, Oteri, Hooks, Radner). Anybody remember Jan Hooks in the local WTCG show “Tush” (as in “Bill”)?