It's college football's offseason. That's not my problem. It's not your problem. It's our problem. And collective problems call for collective solutions.
Thus we present Free Form Friday. Until further notice, I'll spend Fridays posting a vaguely organized compendium of non-sequiturs, pop culture observations and college sports miscellany which you may discuss in the comments, or ignore in favor of your own topics. Think of it as your weekend open comment thread.
The Braves are (barely) above .500, the Hawks are preparing to host a playoff game, and the Falcons are picking in the bottom third of the upcoming NFL Draft. The apocalypse is coming, for surely this disharmonious convergence could mean nothing else.
Speaking of the endtimes, the Stephen A. Smith
error era at ESPN appears to be at an end. I suppose this means I can now tune into the Worldwide Leader with no fear of having to hear the man who talks more without actually saying anything than anyone who's not in elected office. Smith is on a list of sports journalists who, when you get right down to it, are famous for being absurd and provacative. The joke was on Stephen A. in the end, as he apparently did not realize that there are people willing to be provacative and absurd for a lot less coin than him.
Speaking of ESPN, they still don't get it. Which means it's probably about time for me to link to this post again. Almost 2 years later, ESPN still hasn't really figured out this whole "new media" juju you speak of. Which is the best argument for why they should just shut up and roll the damned highlights rather than giving another one of their writers a "blog" and pretending that it's somehow edgy.
Remember Dwayne Allen? Of course you do. He was the tight end from Fayetteville, NC who committed to Georgia over a year before Signing Day 2008, held a press conference the day before Signing Day to reaffirm his commitment, then signed with Clemson, thereby leaving us out in the cold with Omar Hunter, Neiko Lipscomb, and other guys who we otherwise could have offered that scholarship to? Well it turns out that things at Clemson may not be as he thought they were going to be, and he's now "evaluating his options", because Clemson's offense is "not what he thought it would be" when he signed with the Tigers.
You'll never catch me openly enjoying the failures or disappointments of college kids just because of where they chose to go to college. But this is about as close to that as I'll probably ever get. According to my math, no Clemson tight end has caught more than 16 passes in a season since at least 2003. While that may change under Dabo Swinney, I would like to go on record as saying that anyone who, in the year 2008, chose to sign with Clemson because he thought Tommy Bowden's offense is tight end friendly either didn't do his homework or really, really stinks at arithmetic.
Speaking of people who actually do throw the ball to anyone and anything that's moving, the Dread Pirate Leach has some thoughts on his Somali counterparts. Hint: he's not a fan, and thinks the problem could be solved with the proverbial "quick drop with a sudden stop." Yar.
In closing, NCT noted that my answer to UgaBulldog14's Fanpost showed definitive nerdish tendencies. He has a point, of course. One could argue that there are few things nerdier than writing for a sports weblog. I guess writing for an online roleplaying game weblog would be nerdier, but only slightly. Because it probably pays better.
But it's not like nerdy is bad per se. In fact, nerdy versus cool is not a zero sum calculation*. We've all got a little nerd in us. It's really just a question of degree. And I think we must concede that there have been some pretty cool nerds. Take Talking Heads frontman David Byrne, for example:
Nerdy? Yes, in a million and fourteen different ways. Cool? Ditto. By the way, the keyboard solo beginning at the 2:19 mark of that clip is also the music that plays on an endless loop in Colorado coach Dan Hawkins's head. You know it to be true, even though he's never acknowledged it.
Until later . . .
* Unlike the use of the term "zero sum calculation". That's straight up, 100% nerd.