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"Dork Calling Orson; Come In, Orson. . . .": One Blogger's Shout-Out to Orson Charles

There was this one party in college where we were at a house rented by some friends of ours and I was inside the house and my buddy (now my brother-in-law, but that’s a whole ‘nother story) Travis was out on the porch and one of the girls who was out on the porch with Trav started to tell a wildly inappropriate story even by the standards of college parties and, as she is telling this story, Trav sits down on the window sill on the porch and, in what I will believe to my dying day was an instance of Divine intervention to prevent the telling of this story, he sat down harder than he meant to and he shattered the window behind him with his butt.

As I said, I was inside the house, so I didn’t see it, but I heard it, and, speaking as someone who heard it, I can only say that the sound of this window shattering approximated the sound of a glass house---a glass palace, really---shattering after a helicopter hovering a hundred feet above the glass palace had dropped on top of the glass palace a grand piano . . . made entirely of glass.

For reasons entirely unrelated to his having broken a window with his butt in spectacularly shatterrific fashion, Trav went on to marry my sister-in-law and, for six years, he and I co-hosted a local cable television show about Georgia football, and now he’s an advanced placement psychology teacher who has been recognized as a STAR Teacher by one of his students, who (the student, not Trav; try to keep up) also happened to be a really accomplished student on the mock trial team I have coached for the last couple of years.

All of which is to say, I know from personal experience that a fellow can break something made of glass with his butt and turn out to be a damn good ‘Dawg.

Welcome to Bulldog Nation, Orson Charles.

Go ‘Dawgs!

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Wow...

I was really wondering where you were going with that one Mr. King.

Welcome to the Bulldawg Nation, Orson Charles!!

by DawgGirl32 on Mar 6, 2009 5:20 PM EST reply actions  

I saw the . . .

exact same thing happen at a party when I was in college. Only the fact that Kyle and I were not in college at the same time could convince me that it wasn’t the same instance, so close is the similarity. Oh,and the fact that the guy who went out (in?) the window was a Pi Kappa Phi pledge named James. Not Jim, or Jimmy. James. No idea what happened to that kid. Once he removed the shards of glass from his clothing, that is.

by MaconDawg on Mar 6, 2009 5:35 PM EST reply actions  

AP Psychology? Really?

by fotodog on Mar 6, 2009 7:24 PM EST reply actions  

Yeah

He got the job by whacking his future principal in the back of the head repeatedly with a rolled-up magazine during the interview in order to demonstrate how he would teach operant conditioning.

You kind of have to know Trav.

Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Mar 6, 2009 9:51 PM EST up reply actions  

I do know Trav...

…and that is really, really funny.

by Tiller on Mar 10, 2009 6:09 PM EDT up reply actions  

It occurs to me . . .

. . . that you may have been at the window-breaking party.

Of course, there were a lot of parties at that location, including the one where Katie said she wanted a Muppet to play her in a movie, the one where someone threw up in Pam’s washing machine, and the one where a future U.S. Supreme Court clerk and I got into a heated argument over the Second Amendment.

In retrospect, that may have been one party that I’m breaking up into four parties in my mind. . . .

Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Mar 10, 2009 6:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

I was tired of hearing...

about him personally, but now that he chose UGA and turned down UT and USC, I’m a big fan of Orson Charles. Bobo, get to work and make these new recruits stars. Let’s do more than break UF’s trophy; let’s break their will, smash their pride and destroy their dreams of a repeat!!!

by VDawg on Mar 6, 2009 9:49 PM EST reply actions  

As you know, VDawg, I don't follow recruiting as closely as most . . .

. . . but Orson Charles deserved special mention because (a) he was the last holdout for Georgia’s top-tier recruiting class, (b) he was a five-star recruit and Georgia had to beat out Florida and Southern California to get him, and © he broke the Gators’ national championship trophy with his butt.

For my money, signing a top-flight recruit who broke Florida’s national championship trophy with his butt is front-page news. Surely the symbolism has to mean something, right?

Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Mar 6, 2009 9:55 PM EST up reply actions  

Darn it!

That was a “c” in parentheses, to go along with the parenthetical “a” and “b.”

Darn you, auto-correcting copyright-symbol doohickeys!

(I’m sure there’s a more technical term than that, but you know what I mean.)

Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Mar 6, 2009 9:56 PM EST up reply actions  

There's a way to eliminate that

Whatever software your using has an “autocorrect” (or some such) function that can be accessed through the “tools” or “preferences” menu. It contains a list of things that the software will change for you, including several default corrections. Delete freely. I use MS Word at work, and I’ve had to dive in an make all kinds of changes to its settings, because Microsoft makes more spelling and grammatical errors than I do.

by NCT on Mar 8, 2009 12:36 PM EDT up reply actions  

All the while, this guy here is wondering what in the world the story was and how inappropriate it could have been to cause a guy to fall through a glass window in order to prevent its telling…

Oh, and the Orson Charles pull is HUGE (but we all already knew that…)

Go Dawgs!

by Father Dawg on Mar 7, 2009 9:17 AM EST reply actions  

Probably...

….the best analogy I’ve read all day!

Congrats to Travis and his student. And also to Orson Charles, the numero uno gatorHATER!

by berniedawg on Mar 7, 2009 10:30 AM EST reply actions  

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