Free Form Friday

It's college football's offseason. That's not my problem. It's not your problem. It's our problem. And collective problems call for collective solutions.

Thus we present Free Form Friday. Until further notice, I'll spend Fridays posting a vaguely organized compendium of non-sequiturs, pop culture observations and college sports miscellany which you may discuss in the comments, or ignore in favor of your own topics. Think of it as your weekend open comment thread.

Kyle's looking forward to seeing what Tavarres King can do, and I heartily support that sentiment. As much attention as A.J. Green grabbed last year, I think the slot receiver position will be what either makes our passing game fly or crash in '09. I think we're set on the outsides with Green and Kris Durham, with Marlon Brown a potential contributor as well. The question will be which of the phalanx of other guys (Mike Moore, Izzy Troupe, Tony Wilson, King . . .) steps up to give the Ginger Assassin underneath targets.

Speaking of looking forward, our long national nightmare is over. For now. It's often easy to criticize college athletes during a season like this one, but instead, I'd prefer to let the members of Pete Herrmann's basketball team (not sure how much longer I can say that) know that all of us here appreciate them. The fact that they kept getting up off the canvas, ultimately beating a Florida team that has dogged them for years and notching a rare win in Rupp Arena shows me that they have heart and class. We're still proud of you guys.

I should probably  apologize for the general lack of basketball coverage this season, except that I got the sense that it would do nothing more than depress the already weary denizens of Bulldog Nation. So if you're that guy who wanted to know exactly what went wrong in each of the hardwood Bulldogs' 20 losses, allow me to summarize: a) shooting so bad that watching it caused actual physical pain, b) free throw shenanigans that would make Shaquille O'Neal blush, c) lack of halftime adjustments, d) a smattering of injuries, and e) a curse placed upon Dennis Felton by a New Orleans voodoo woman after Western Kentucky cost her $50 by covering the spread against Tulane. That about covers it.

Speaking of New Orleans, I've noticed that some NFL Draft projections are showing Knowshon Rockwell Moreno possibly going to the Saints. This would be worth it if for no other reason than the chance to see Knowshon leading a jazz parade at some point. Go ahead. Just close your eyes and revel in that one for a moment. And the chance to see him come back to the Georgia Dome once a year to face off against the Falcons. A couple of mocked mock drafts also have him going to the Colts, which would be immensely entertaining as well. "Odd Couple" type commercials with Peyton Manning and Knowshon Moreno would make those Double Stuff Racing League bits look pretty pedestrian. More so than they already do.

Speaking of the Mannings, I've come to a shocking conclusion. Every last one of them is a vampire. The whole lot of 'em. I realized this after seeing that movie Twilight based on the vampire novels by Stephenie Meyer. Yes, I saw it, and I enjoyed it. The cinematography was breathtaking, ok? But back to my main thesis. Think about it: they're all incredibly pale, preternaturally calm, and hail from New Orleans. Anybody who's walked around the French Quarter at 3 a.m. knows that NOLA is just chock a block with assorted weirdos wearing black clothing and makeup vampires. They also subsist entirely off the blood of others and can control your mind and manipulate your feelings. Just ask Plaxico Burress. That Eli is the sneakiest one of them all.

Let me say this: No matter what your motives, if you kill a 12 foot long tiger shark with a dive knife after a 2 hour underwater sparring match, you need to go directly to your local county Courthouse to renew your Badass License.

You know who's underappreciated as an artist? The Derek Trucks Band. They do smooth soul/blues/rock like nobody's business. Exhibit A:


If you do not find your foot tapping to this song, I'm afraid there's not much else I can do for you on a spring Friday. In that case you need to turn in both your Badass License and your Fun License. Back tomorrow with actual college athletic content, which will not be SEC Basketball Tournament related. Until then . . .

Go 'Dawgs!!!

 

 

 

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