Nevermind: Bulldog Nation, You Are Now Officially Authorized to Go Back to Thinking Urban Meyer Is a Colossal Jerk With Dangerously Skewed Priorities

Last night, while expressing my sympathy to Urban Meyer and his family, I made mention of the fact that, when Steve Spurrier abruptly resigned as the head coach of the Florida Gators, I began to view the so-called "Evil Genius" in a more positive light, to the point of rooting for the Washington Redskins while he was coaching in the District of Columbia.

What I neglected to mention was that, as soon as he returned to the SEC East as the head coach of the South Carolina Gamecocks, Darth Visor went right back to being a great big ol’ honkin’ jackass.

I lack the vocabulary to express adequately in prose my thoughts on Urban Meyer’s change of heart. Accordingly, as I have done before, I will share my emotional response in song:

Sympathy for the Gator

Please allow me to introduce myself;
I’m a man with sharp chest pain.
I’ll be around for a few more years,
Now that I’m done jerkin’ your chain.

I spoke of faith, health, and family
When I played each of you for a fool.
I’d rather point, lie, and call time outs
And generally prove I’m a tool.

So, if you meet me, please have some courtesy.
Have some sympathy, and cut me some slack.
Now I’ve got to go text prospects and tell my kids
They can’t have their daddy back.

Obviously, we should continue to keep Urban Meyer’s family and Urban Meyer’s health in our thoughts and prayers. I hope, for his sake and for his family’s, that he has made the right decision, because the consequences of his having made the wrong decision are so dire.

However, since it does not appear that Corch Myers is in any immediate danger, I will permit myself to slip on my red-and-black-colored glasses in order to say this: I was right that what made Urban Meyer such a good football coach was the fact that he is such a lousy person.

Go ‘Dawgs!

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