hot off the dedication line from "Alshon" in Columbia, who would like you to know that, no, he won't be pumping any gas at the Pilot, and he danged sure won't be guarding his blind side in a state prison for 10-20 years after robbing somebody at one:
Glorified version of a pellet gun indeed . . .
OK, I'm going to get my licks in in bullet point form, because that just seems kind of appropriate.
- This could only be more schadenfreudey if they had whirred off in the Prius chanting "Wild Boyz! Wild Boyz! Wild Boyz!"
- Perhaps Marlon Brown's grandmother is a decent judge of character after all.
- All three seem to have valid driver's licenses, which means they might actually have gotten away with it in Athens. Unless they tried to escape on a scooter in which case, you know.
- This is far from the worst thing that's ever resulted from Ed Orgeron hazing the freshmen by sending them on a pork rind run.
- At least they didn't bring along Eric Berry or shirtless Bruce Pearl. If so they would have gotten pinched for assault with a deadly weapon and indecent exposure.
- Tried to escape in a Prius and showed up for the lineup repping the Tennessee gear. Just needed to throw that in one more time for good measure.
OK. I think I'm done. Because like Jackson, Richardson and Edwards, I gotta get out of here.