That would mean Urban told the truth to Jevan Snead: “We’re recruiting Tebow to play linebacker”

The Devil never tells the truth.

Based on that logic, if the Devil WERE to tell The Truth, then it would be the ultimate lie for we would automatically assume that what we just heard, depsite it being The Truth, is actually a lie…

Unless, of course, The Devil has the ability to turn The Truth into a lie by merely uttering said Truth…. that may be possible, I don’t know…

But I don’t think Urban Meyer could pull that off, ergo, Urban is not The Devil… only a rat-faced imp working for The Devil…

Amen

I hate Florida.

Let’s say my wife asks me if I’ll take out the trash and I say, “Sure, I will,” despite the fact that I have no intention of taking out the trash. Now let’s say I feel badly afterward for lying to my wife, so, to make up for it, I take out the trash, anyway.

I was still lying, because, at the moment I said it, I believed it to be untrue and I had no intention of doing what I said I was going to do. If Urban Meyer had no intention of playing Tim Tebow at linebacker, he was lying when he said that to Jevan Snead. The fact that he later used Tebow at linebacker doesn’t retroactively make it true.

Also, “We’re recruiting Tebow to play linebacker” is not the same thing as “We’re recruiting Tebow to play quarterback, but we may let him take some snaps at linebacker.”

All of this is moot, though. Urban Meyer is not the Devil. He, like Steve Spurrier, is a pawn of the Devil who made a deal with Ol’ Scratch. The Gators were promised two decades of dominance in exchange for their coaches’ souls. At next year’s Florida-South Carolina game, Satan will ascend through the 50 yard line during the postgame handshake and lay claim to Urban Meyer and Steve Spurrier.

Of course, it could also be explained by good athletic management, exceptional coaching, wealthy alumni, favorable climate, top-flight facilities, and a populous football-crazed state that produces NFL-caliber recruits by the bushel, but no one would be crazy enough to believe that cockamamie explanation.

It’s 19-year cycles, open dates, and defending national champions, I tell you! (Can you hear me over the sound of ball bearings rattling around in my hand?)

Sorry, I just had to get that headline in….

I don’t think The Devil will ascend to take Steve and Urban… I think the ground will just open up and suck them in, leaving only the most sage of us in bewilderment of what just happened… sort of a Reverse-Rapture.

On another note: Having never met your wife, I am sure she is a wonderful Christian woman (obviously blessed with an unlimited capacity for compassion and foregiveness) and a fine Dawg fan in her own right.

However, unless the aforementioned oral contract contained some distinct (or most likely, implied) temporal frame where said trash was to be removed, so long as you did not intend to permanently reside in the odorous confines of an abode filled with piles of trash, then you never actually lied.

Of course, I would never use this argument in my OWN defense… at least not again.

Halothane-soaked gloves.

I’ve got two more words for you:

Intentional facemasks.

While I don’t believe the SEC was ever actually asked to sign off on the resolutions of the Geneva Convention, I would hope all involved would abstain from the use of chemical warfare for the sake of mutual benefit… At least in a conference game.

First time in 31 years I heard it come out of her mouth. Sometimes foul language and bad nicknames are all you have got to retaliate with. It may not be right, but it is something. Now as for Tebow, I am just sick of hearing it. I can’t believe one his own players haven’t told him to pee up a rope when he gets all geeked up into one of his “rah, rah, I am a millimeter from your face and spitting on you as I shout” super gator rants. I so hope we show up this weekend. In the immortal words of the Doors, “The time to hesitate is through..”.

Wow… So sorry to offend.. We ARE talking about the Gators, right? Did I post this on the church bulletin board or something?

But I think TBag is funny and, while tired, is immortally clever… and it just sorta rolls off the tongue really well. But you will notice there are no other explicit comments throughout the post… kudos to me. I will waxh my mouth out with orange soap and refrain from the use of the term in future posts… I guess. lip out and sulking like a scolded child

And as for the score, yeah, I screwed up… I’m sorry… I will have my accounting dept audit my posts from now on…

Go Dawgs… that is all.