Dawg Sports: An SB Nation Community

Navigation: Jump to content areas:



Sports blogs for fans, by fans.
Around SBN: The USA TODAY/Bloody Elbow Top 50 MMA Fights Ever, I


Dear Tim Tebow: A Letter From Uncle MaconDawg

Dear Tim,

Congratulations on winning your first BCS National Championship as the starting quarterback of the Florida Gators. I know, some people give you credit for the one that other guy secured, despite the fact that his own fanbase and dirty, filthy  bloggers chided him for most of his career. But we both know better, don't we, Timmy? 

Anyhow, now that that's out of the way, have you given any thought to your future? A young man of your talents could become many things in life: pastry chef, tap dancer, crocs model, barroom bouncer, unlicensed surgeon. Maybe even an NFL fullback.

That's it! Tim, not every Heisman Trophy winner can grow up to become Rashaan Salaam. Some of them have to actually be successful professional football players. And that's the part you were born to play in the Dinner Theater of life, young Timothy.

As Dr. Lou would no doubt tell you, "today ith the firth day of the reth of your life!" So go fill out that draft paperwork, Tim. The NFL is a desolate and lawless place that sorely needs a man of your character, demonstrated blocking ability, and eyeblack creativity. Do not let the fact that you throw a football like you're slinging dog poo off your hand dissuade you. For that is not your calling, Baby Rhino. No, you are your generation's Scott Frost. And the future is now.

Plus, this way we won't have to listen to Fox's BCS announcing team discussing you in a vaguely inappropriate manner that would make even Verne Lundquist blush.

Go. Tim. Go. Like an Airtran 737, there's nothing stopping you.*

 

*Oh, and take Charlie Strong with you, please?

0 recs | Comment 11 comments

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

Display:

I had to turn the sound off.......

about 8 minutes into the game. The Tebow love fest was more than I could stand. If Stoops could coach Tebow would be crying as he explained how he let the world down and promising to never allow the world to suffer another Gator loss.

That game sucked – I hate play calling from the bench – crap – 30 seconds to set up an off tackle run. At least the ACC sent the best crew they had……..

by JRL on Jan 9, 2009 12:01 PM EST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yeah, if we ever . . .

had any doubt that Thom Brenamen has as much business calling college football as I have performing brain surgery, that doubt has been erased. A full year was almost enough time for me to forget how annoying, inept and boring the guy really is in that context.

And Bob Stoops can tell the FOX crew all he wants that he was “OK” with not getting points on those two first half possessions. Not taking the field goals was a dumb move that prevented a momentum swing that easily could have won that game.

by MaconDawg on Jan 9, 2009 12:07 PM EST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Quick thoughts

OU should’ve won.

Tebow can’t throw a spiral.

Fox’s coverage last night was ALMOST as bad as their crappy Sugar Bowl coverage last year.

One of those announcers said “If you spend just 15 minutes with Tim Tebow, your life will be better for it.” Sorry, but evangelical preachers who cut kids in wrong places is just weird to me. No thanks.

by UgaBulldog14 on Jan 9, 2009 12:26 PM EST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Heh...

Cousin Gamecock Man second’s Uncle MaconDawg’s motion. The future is yours, Tim!

Garnet and Black Attack: A Blog by and for Gamecocks Fans. http://www.garnetandblackattack.com

by Gamecock Man on Jan 9, 2009 4:54 PM EST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Scott Frost

Meh, Tebow merely wishes he could whine as well as Scott Frost.

by Hobnail_Boot on Jan 9, 2009 5:18 PM EST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Brennaman

I can’t even listen to the guy do baseball. He is so boring. And that “15 minutes with Tebow” crap was nauseating. By the way, if anyone hasn’t heard, a couple in Florida just named their kid Tim Tebow. I swear to God.

by BeachGaBulldog on Jan 9, 2009 8:44 PM EST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Will They or Won't They?

I personally got equally as sick hearing this inept hack pondering as to whether or not the defense would blitz! I was already nauseated from the Tebow lovefest but his incessant “are they coming?” gave me a headache as well. One would thing that FOX could hire competent announcers since they are paying for ALL the BCS games!
UGH!

by Lakepoets on Jan 9, 2009 10:01 PM EST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I thought the game was very entertaining

However I have not heard the broadcast yet – was in South Florida.

I also could care less how pretty Tebow’s passes look in the air. As long as they end up in our WR’s hands in the endzone, I am fine with them.

Tebow still has something to prove – that he can win a Heisman and a crystal football in the same season.

p.s. Chris Leak was terrible in the spread offense. We won in 2006 because our defense was nasty.

by skigator93 on Jan 11, 2009 12:49 AM EST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Tebow didn't read your letter MaconDawg

He’s staying according to this report.

http://hobnailboot.blogspot.com/

by AuditDawg on Jan 11, 2009 2:56 PM EST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Comments For This Post Are Closed


User Tools

Welcome to the SB Nation community devoted to the Georgia Bulldogs.
Start posting about the Bulldogs »

Join SB Nation and dive into communities focused on all your favorite teams.

FanPosts

Community blog posts and discussion.

Recent FanPosts

Flowerchucker_small
Quick Question re: Branden Smith
Small
College Football Preview Luncheon
Photo_69_small
Individual/Composite calendars for iCal/Outlook?
Small
College Football Preview Luncheon
Small
muschamp recruits in georgia
Associated_20press_clayliston_1965_l_small
How to Taunt a Georgia Fan
Mtsu_sm_small
Going to UGA
Small
oklahoma state blog
Small
2009 Competition Improves
Small
100 Cocktails

Post_icon New FanPost All FanPosts Carrot-mini


Managers

Beard_47_series_wins_and_42_points_in_2007_small T Kyle King

Official Partner of CBS Sports