No way.

No way!

Pat Dye lost his pants!

If I found Pat Dye’s pants, I would run them up the flagpole.

If I found Pat Dye’s wallet, I would use it for target practice.

I have an old friend named Franklin Gerson and Franklin is the sort of person to whom I have a hard time referring without adding the words "a great American" after his name, as though I were Lewis Grizzard and he were Weyman C. Wannamaker, Jr. Franklin used to have a pair of pants which had been given to him as a gift, and, although these pants were absolutely horrid, he wore them, anyway.

Once, while wearing these atrocious britches, Franklin said something profound, which moved others in attendance to opine that perhaps his keen insight was a by-product of his heinous trousers. The pants thereafter became known as "The Pants of Wisdom."

If Pat Dye wore ‘em, they must have been "The Pants of Cheating." If they’ve been gone that long, it was probably because of N.C.A.A. sanctions. As a consequence of one of the Plainsmen’s multiple probations, Auburn likely was required to forfeit television appearances and revenue, two scholarships per year, and one pair of loud golf pants. Given the Tigers’ track record, that seems fair.

I hate Auburn.

By the way, Paul Westerdawg has shared his thoughts on player misbehavior and I have a hard time finding fault with so much as a single word of it.

Go ‘Dawgs!