Frick. Double Frick. The obscenity-challenged Scrubs doctor would probably have no better way to respond to the twin arrests of Justin Anderson and Trinton Sturdivant for simple battery and Michael Lemon's separate arrest for battery. Frankly, I think her approach will suffice.
Anderson and Sturdivant are charged with violation of O.C.G.A. Section16-5-23, one of the more nebulous parts in the criminal code. Basically, you tap someone on the shoulder who doesn't want to be tapped, and you've committed simple battery. Here, it appears that one or both allegedly touched the stomach of a female campus visitor. I don't know if this was accompanied by the standard question "When are you due?"
I do know that when you are 6'5, 320 pounds and approaching people you don't know in darkened breezeways, you really shouldn't touch them. If these allegations are true, it's evidence of criminally bad decision making, even though the offense itself is a misdemeanor.
Michael Lemon's alleged violation of O.C.G.A. Section 16-5-23.1 is also a misdemeanor, but of a somewhat different nature. Details on the incident can be found here. First impression: guys who punch other guys over a girl at a BBQ have usually been drankin'. Lemon is alleged to have done some serious damage to a guy's face with essentially no physical provocation. If true, this is very, very serious. I'm also a little worried that the report indicates that Lemon's "friends" huddled around him while he beat the guy down. If any of those "friends" were also on the football roster, our depth issues could get a little worse.
It's hard to guess what the discipline will be in these situations. A lot of it depends on whether the players in question have prior disciplinary histories, which I frankly do not know. If they do, it's certainly not been of the criminal variety. If I had to say, I'd guess Anderson and Sturdivant get either internal punishment or a one gamer. Lemon's situation however is very worrisome, and is the kind of thing that also often involves a civil lawsuit. My guess is one to two games, plus internal punishment. I understand that Michael has been through a lot, but you can't go all Good Will Hunting on a guy without consequences.
These arrests also drive home a point that Mark Richt and his staff have probably been trying to make their players understand for some time now: the only football players who can really stop this team are the ones actually wearing red and black. Let's hope this serves as a wakeup call for the whole team, not a precursor to 4th of July hijinx.