Please stand by . . .

I'm out helping my good buddy Barney Stinson polish up his talking points for an interview with the Auburn Athletic Department brain trust (sic). I'll be back either after they hire him or make the next best choice, which is clearly Patrick Nix. Thanks for your patience, and please give Kyle your undivided attention. And a chicken fried steak sandwich from Sonic, if you have one handy.

Never has the "hot/crazy scale" been so perfectly appropriate for everyday decision-making as when it is applied to the head coaching vacancy at Auburn University. Are you listening Turner Gill?