Cocktail Thursday: Auburn Edition.

by MaconDawg on Nov 13, 2008 8:30 PM EST Comment 10 comments

This Cocktail Thursday thing may be getting out of hand. If I didn't know better, I could have sworn that the entire University of Georgia defense was imbibing Bourbon Punch at halftime of the Kentucky game. That's the only explanation I can come up with.

The plan of attack this week is simple. We need to get to 28 points. Auburn hasn't scored more than that number against a Division 1-A team since the first week of the season (that's when they scored 34 on Louisiana-Monroe). It's pretty simple really: Auburn's offense stinks. If that cobbled together monstrosity was an animal, it would be a platypus. If it were a child actor, Auburn's offense would be Jaleel White. If it were a car, it would be a Yugo. It just doesn't really fit together in any intelligible way, and it's bound to break down sooner rather than later.

The one circumstance under which i am fairly confident that the Georgia Bulldogs will win Saturday's installment of The Deep South's Oldest Rivalry is if the Auburn offense is forced to perform like a Porsche. If this one becomes a barn burner, if the WarPlainsTigerPlatypi have to match us score for score, I'm fairly certain the result will be Kodi Burns turning the ball over late to clinch the thing. So what's the appropriate cocktail for a late fall barn burner in greater Opelika?

The Barner Burner, a new twist on the classic Barn Burner. You'll need 1 cup of hot apple cider, 1 oz. of Southern Comfort, 1/2 oz. of peach schnapps, and a dash of lemon juice. Mix it all together and garnish with a cinammon stick. If you spill any, just blot it up with some of the unused toilet paper laying around from the Vanderbilt, Ole Miss, Arkansas or West Virginia victory celebrations that never were. By the way, shouldn't a team that loses to Vandy, Ole Miss and Arkansas not only all in the same season, but in three consecutive conference games get demoted to the Sun Belt Conference and have to play their way back into the big leagues? Just a thought.

I'll be back tomorrow evening with the five things you'll see on the Plains. Until then . . .

Go Dawgs!!!

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you guys are good

Man, i sure hope one day we can be as good as you, and we can send the entire team out to celebrate td’s, or dance on vandys star, but really, ya’ll are good.

by okietigerr on Nov 13, 2008 9:22 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Oh, come on . . .

. . . give it a rest.

Total number of times the whole team has gone out to celebrate a touchdown in our entire history: one. The coach only directed the offense to do it, the team took it too much to heart, and the coach apologized.

Total number of times members of the team have danced on Vanderbilt’s star in our entire history: one. The coach immediately ran out onto the field, angrily told them to stop, physically moved them off of the star, apologized to the opposing coach during the postgame handshake, and apologized to everyone on a live national television broadcast during the postgame interview.

Do you think Tommy Tuberville would go to such lengths to stop his team from misbehaving after Auburn won in Nashville? (Obviously, this year, the Tigers beating the Commodores in Nashville is purely a hypothetical, of course.)

By the way, it’s “y’all,” not “ya’ll.” The apostrophe goes where the letters are omitted. It’s short for “you all,” not “ya will.”

Also, “you guys”? When did you get in from Ohio?

Weak, okietigerr, really weak.

Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Nov 13, 2008 9:44 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Please post again

when you make it out of 10th grade.

by tankertoad on Nov 13, 2008 10:10 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

What the hell is up with these Auburn folks?

T Kyle was simply noting his disdain regarding a self admission of a consistently perpetrated assault on one of our school’s most cherished and sacred landmarks. T Kyle warned these guys, and they come back with “sand in your vagina” comments and speak to him as if he is a redneck moron control freak, which anyone who actually reads this blog knows. The last I saw, he apologized for cutting off their assanine commenting ability, which he later reinstated, and yet even after the apology they are harping on this thing over on the Track em Tigers site. Talk about whining, there are two headline blog posts, and a fan post in reaction. And these guys are accusing T Kyle of losing control. I personally was shocked to see the level of personal attack that SG Standard’s post created, and certainly haven’t seen that level of animousity with any other rival fans on this site. Maybe, being utterly routed the past two years will do that to you, but its probably just that SG has harnessed the power of hatred to the degree where it radiates to all others within its presence. Kind of like a thousand sun supernova.

by dawgdayafternoon on Nov 13, 2008 10:55 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

Type O

Anyone who reads this site knows that T kyle IS NOT a redneck moron control freak.

Anomosity, ~ Animousity

Sorry, my proofreading skills are all used up this week. I just turned in my Appelate Brief for Legal Writing II. Tons of Fun!

by dawgdayafternoon on Nov 13, 2008 11:00 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

I remember Legal Writing II . . .

it was, in some sense, the reason I started blogging. Subconsciously, I think I was looking for an outlet in which I could get my point across in as many or as few words as I damned well pleased. Word limits are a form of subtle fascism, in my opinion. I think Kyle might agree with me. But don’t tell your Professor that.

by MaconDawg on Nov 14, 2008 9:45 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Legal Writing II?

I don’t remember that one. I remember plain old Legal Research & Writing that we had to take first semester of first year. My section had some new or visting professor who had just moved to Athens the first day of class and they lost all his luggage so he wore the same sweater to class everyday for the first week. Notice I said sweater…this was first semester….in August….in Athens.

by skigator93 on Nov 14, 2008 3:00 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

I attend Mercer

They justify the outrageous tuition by offering the number one ranked legal writing program according to U.S. News and World Report. We take:
1 hour credit Legal Analysis Fall 1L,
1 hour credit Legal Research Fall 1 L
3 hour credit Legal Writing I (Office Memorandum) Spring 1L
3 hour credit Legal Writing II (Appellate Briefs) Fall 2L

Additionally, I am enrolled in the advanced writing program.

2 hour credit Advanced Legal Research
2 hour credit Litigation/Contract/Will/etc. . . Drafting
1 hour credit Advanced Writing Group

I know it sounds excessive, but I imagine I will spend a fair amount of time writing after the bar.

by dawgdayafternoon on Nov 14, 2008 6:02 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

As a proud graduate of the . . .

Walter F. George School of Law, I can assure you, it’s all worth it. Because you will in fact spend an outrageous amount of time writing. And that’s before you even start your own sports blog.

by MaconDawg on Nov 14, 2008 9:36 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs