I did not see this one coming. No really, not in a million years. Hard on the heels of a loss in Columbia that had Paul Westerdawg in borderline emo mode, it now appears that Dennis Felton is the frontrunner to take over for Dave Odum, newly deposed South Carolina basketball coach. And what's more, it appears that Felton may be interested in the job.
"A place where next year is always just bound to be better than the last is just the type of place for me to take my considerable program turnaround skills to the next level" Felton gushed, after trying to explain what happened to every player on his team not named Terrance Woodbury during his team's 62-56 loss to the floundering Gamecocks. "Besides, I've already got a firm commitment from Casper Brinkley to suit up at power forward for us."
When asked about the team he would be leaving behind in Athens, the team that Felton proclaimed earlier this season was as talented as any he'd had in his tenure in the Classic City, the head 'Dawg conceded "You got me. That was before we gacked it up against East Tennessee State and Tulane within a 24 hour period. Definitely didn't see that one coming. But you know, when you're getting housed by a school whose most significant alumnus is Kenny Chesney, you need to keep your resume polished. It looks like things may have worked out well for me. Coach Spurrier says I'll have no problem getting high quality student athletes in here. And he says you can't pee in the bushes around here without hitting a smooth shooting guard."***
***Admit it, you read that headline and you reacted in one of two ways: either a) you felt like you'd been "Tubbied" all over again, or b) like Austin Powers in the introductory sequence to The Spy Who Shagged Me, you exclaimed "Wait a tick! That means we're single again! Oh behave!" and clapped your fembot wife's dismembered hand in joy. I'm not making any judgments either way. No sir, none at all. That being said, we're still 2-3 in the SEC, and facing a tough homestand against Kentucky and Vanderbilt. Frustrating? Yes. End of the world? No. Is it time to fire Dennis Felton? Heck no. Do I get tired of his Zook-esque continual improvement and seeming delight at dismissing players who he himself was apparently unable to discipline? Heck yes. And when your top shooter goes 1 of 12 from three point range, hitting the only tre with less than a minute to go, you lose. Especially on the road. Criminy, what a crummy game.