Exploring the Limits of a College Football Fan's Devotion

by T Kyle King on Jan 27, 2008 9:48 AM EST in Football

Shortly following Georgia's triumph in the Sugar Bowl, I made this observation:

After a late night last night, I had a busy day today, including a team meeting this evening with the high school mock trial squad I am helping to coach. Last night, about five minutes into the Sugar Bowl, one of the students called me about today's scheduled meeting. Being the superstitious fan that I am, I warned her today that she might be required to call me five minutes into every Georgia game from now until the end of time.

(Incidentally, we still need attorneys to evaluate February 16's regional competition in McDonough, in case you're a Georgia lawyer who's available that day and you have not yet e-mailed Shanda DeLay. Thanks.)

The sentiment quoted above got me thinking, though:

To what lengths are we as fans willing to go to engage in game day rituals that supposedly heighten the good mojo of our favorite team?

You know I am all about the mojo-generating game day ritual, but I pose the following hypothetical, which, while fictitious, is not unrealistic:

It's a Saturday morning in the fall. The Bulldogs are playing an important rivalry game between the hedges later that day. My brother-in-law, Travis, and I are going over to Athens for the game.

I arrive at Trav's house, from which we will be departing for the Classic City. I am greeted at the door by my nephew, Drew, who is three years old. Drew, who is fond of tools, has a screwdriver in his hand.

Suddenly, without malice but also without warning, Drew drives the screwdriver into the side of my knee, intending it playfully and meaning no harm yet leaving me standing there like Augustus McCrae after running afoul of the Indians at the end of the epic cattle drive in "Lonesome Dove."

It could have been worse. I could have been speared like Josh Deets.

Fortunately, I have available to me the capabilities of modern medicine, so, unlike Gus, I don't face the prospect of amputation, gangrene, asking Woodrow Call to take my body back to Texas to be buried in an orchard, writing farewell letters to multiple women while in the throes of delirium, and death; rather, I go to the emergency room, get a tetanus shot and some stitches, call my wife on my cell phone to let her know I am all right (by the standards of my past adventures with Travis, such a call would strike her as fairly tame), and am off to Sanford Stadium.

The 'Dawgs proceed to lay a nationally-televised smackdown on a rival team in the Classic City.

Based upon the foregoing scenario, please complete the following sentence:

I should:

(a) conclude that my injury and the outcome of the game were unrelated.
(b) allow Drew to drive a screwdriver into the side of my knee before every subsequent Georgia game.
(c) allow Drew to drive a screwdriver into the side of my knee before every subsequent regular-season Georgia game.
(d) allow Drew to drive a screwdriver into the side of my knee before every subsequent Georgia home game.
(e) only allow Drew to drive a screwdriver into the side of my knee before particularly important Georgia games.

Would your answer be different if my nephew stuck a screwdriver into the side of your knee instead? If so, how? What if it was your spouse's or date's knee? What if it was your best friend's knee? (All right, don't answer that last one; we all know we'd find it hilarious to see a three-year-old innocently plunge a screwdriver into the side of our best friend's knee just on general principle. If it happened to help Georgia win a football game, that'd just be gravy.)

Discuss.

Go 'Dawgs!

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Comments

Interesting dilemma

A Screwdriver in the knee? Too bad young Drew wasn't carrying a Gin and Tonic.

Seriously, though. I think option "e" is the more prudent one. You do not want to over-do a good thing (I guess this is a good thing), much like the Blackout Jerseys. And as young Drew grows up and gets stronger, your pain level will undoubtedly increase. Good luck with all of that.

by DavetheDawg on Jan 27, 2008 10:08 AM EST reply actions

Ummmmm?

Spank Drew
Drink Screw(driver)!

It even rhymes.

You may wanna call one of those TV lawyers!?!? One call, that's all!

"Got to roll me and call me the Tumbling Dice."

by Elmo Lewis on Jan 27, 2008 2:10 PM EST reply actions

ElectricSweater

On a somewhat related note, I've been pondering an apparel problem ever since Christmas. I started the season wearing a red Heinz 57 T-shirt and jeans. Its not Georgia gear, I know, but I'm a starving college student and trademarked apparel is expensive. I wore the same thing every game day until after the Tennessee game. At that point, I realized that something I was doing wasn't working, and scrapped the outfit for my red "The Sounds" T-Shirt and a specially purchased pair of black coords. Since Changing, Georgia has gone on a tear that included wins over Florida, Auburn, Georgia Tech, and Hawaii in the Sugar Bowl.

Here's where the problem comes in. For Christmas I got a Georgia hoodie, a Georgia track jacket, and a Sugar Bowl T-Shirt. It was an easy choice to keep my season long apparel on for the Sugar Bowl, but now I have to decide what to do for next season. Do superstitions reset after each season? Should I switch to my name brand Georgia gear and mess with a streak, or should I stick to the less flashy but more proven shirt I've been wearing since Tennessee?

by ElectricSweater on Jan 27, 2008 2:49 PM EST reply actions

Reply to ElectricSweater

As for Kyle's question, I agree with another poster the answer is obviously (a). That's a great example of the logical fallacy "post hoc, ergo propter hoc" or something like, which I believe means "after this, therefore because of this."

ElectricSweater's situation presents a much clearer case for causation. I'm sure UGA played some great games even before Kyle was jabbed with a screwdriver. UGA's play was clearly inconsistent if not downright awful while wearing the Heinz shirt. The great play since the switch to "The Sounds" shirt and black cords is no mere coincidence. I'm afraid you have to wear the same thing to every UGA game until they lose, which would show the gear isn't working anymore anyway. You can still wear your new gear during the off-season, plus, you'll be instantly recognized by all devoted Dawg Sports followers.

by Dee Allen on Jan 28, 2008 12:56 PM EST up reply actions

Wow

I've never been much for pre-game rituals, so I'd have to go with option (a).

At some point in my childhood, I developed this OCD-esque ritual during the games (mostly home games when I'm there, but occasionally when watching away games on TV). Just before particularly important plays (certain defensive stands or third- or fourth-down conversions), I get this very specific mental image of blocks of color (red and black, of course) appearing in a set sequence of patterns, accompanied by a simple, quick, silent chant (built around the key words "Red and Black win").

I'm unaware of whether there's a causal relationship between this "spasm" of the mind and on-field success (I do know it doesn't work every single time). Common sense says it's ridiculous that there should be any connection, but the possibility that a favorable one exists prevents me from looking at it directly, as it were, for fear of damaging its effectiveness. There's no stopping it now: I no longer conjure it on purpose, but it happens spontaneously a few times per game.

Wow. I never told anybody about that until now.

by NCT on Jan 27, 2008 3:51 PM EST reply actions

I think of it another way

Every pre-game ritual (if repeated for every game or moment, etc.,) ever concocted has failed. Eventually, God punishes us for our arrogance in thinking we could sway the outcome. To quote from No Country for Old Men, "You can't stop what's comin'. It ain't all waitin' on you. That's vanity."

If you look at it that way, you should never indulge in a pre-game ritual (at least one that pertains to victory rather than enjoyment or tradition). It'll always fail.

by randomterrace on Jan 27, 2008 11:19 PM EST reply actions