Taking One for the Team

First things first; while spending much of yesterday being batted around the blogosphere like a pinata, I neglected to take care of a couple of housekeeping details, which I would like to get out of the way before we begin. Two questions to which you need to know the answers are these:

  • Is Georgia a national power? Yes, Georgia is.
  • Is there such a thing as a classy Auburn fan? Yes, there is. (Jay Coulter of Track 'Em Tigers gets extra credit for playing to my innate Southern conservatism by referring to, then reiterating, the fact that Andrew Cuomo is "a New York liberal." He also gets in a dig at Georgia by pointing out that Auburn has won "two out of the last three" series meetings. Another way of saying that, of course, would be to note that the Plainsmen have won two out of their last five games against the 'Dawgs, but, really, who's counting?)

(Obligatory reminder of Odell Thurman's 99-yard interception return.)

Now, though, I would like to get to the subject I wish I had covered yesterday, after first offering a word of thanks to Burnt Orange Nation's Peter Bean for being a classy guy even when I am being a bad friend to him. 756 cocktails to you, sir, and also a unicorn.

As you know, I am a big believer in pregame rituals, particularly the sacrificial ritual of feasting on the flesh of the enemy.

That is why I was intrigued by Nico's recent posting, which produced a reader comment revealing that University of Alabama classics professor Kirk Summers performs weekly sacrifices during football season.

Relax; he's not hurling young maidens into volcanoes or committing acts of animal cruelty. Instead, Professor Summers's sacrifices go a little something like this:

As they watched the sacrifice take place, the crowd of students chanted in Latin. "Volvere aestus volvere!" they said. Or, in English, "Roll, Tide, roll!"

The football season is about to begin, and Classics 222 is busy ensuring a victory for the Crimson Tide against Hawaii.

Before them is their leader and teacher: "Kirkules." The sacrifice for this weekend is a symbol of their enemies: a pineapple.

"The pineapple was the most appropriate gift for the gods before the Hawaii game," said Kirk Summers, an associate professor of classics and leader of the sacrifice. "We believe that out team can't win unless we make the sacrifice and do it properly."

All right, I'm on board for this. After a football season in which the 'Dawgs lost to Vanderbilt and Kentucky, you'd better be on board for it, too.

I am not going through that again!

We need a regular Friday sacrifice that has a plausible connection to that Saturday's Georgia opponent. It needs to be something that won't turn me into the latest Atlanta-area resident to get himself into trouble with the law over being unkind to animals. (In other words, we can grill a chicken the night before the South Carolina game, but we aren't going to kill a chicken the night before the South Carolina game. We're obsessive sports fans; we're not Santeria.)

Pick a game, any game. We have a full schedule to fill here, folks. Your suggestions go in the comments below, so let 'er rip. What will be the pregame sacrifice preceding each Georgia game this fall?

I'm going to let all of you have your say on this, so don't be alarmed if I hang back a bit and you don't hear from me a lot for the next couple of days. Have at it.

Go 'Dawgs!

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