Friday Night Dawg Bites

Although you've already been brought Friday's Random News by MaconDawg, a few more morsels warranted reporting, so you may consider this your special Friday bonus edition of details, tidbits, and minutiae; as we say in the law, to wit:

Only partially gratuitous photograph of Erin Andrews.

  • Erin Andrews sightings, incidentally, have not been rare in the blogosphere lately, as the Worldwide Leader's best-looking reporter has made recent appearances at The Wizard of Odds and The 12th ManChild. With all due respect to my Aggie colleague, his site needed an infusion of Erin, as the ManChild's countdown to kickoff seemed to have as its implicit theme male bonding taken to a disturbing extreme . . . not that there's anything wrong with that!
  • While we're on the subject of things with which there is nothing wrong, the Ladies . . . have ended the suspense. As I mentioned last night in my final hot blogger bracketology breakdown (which got me my first link on Deadspin, by the way . . . thanks, Will!), it remained to be seen what the Ladies . . . would do in the aftermath of electoral shenanigans that would have made a Chicago mayor or a Southern governor blush. Well, now the wait is over, as the Ladies . . . unanimously chose a winner; namely, Holy Dog Water. Holy Dog Water looks like this:

The Ladies . . . described him as "hot," "tall," a "stud" with "good hair," and a fellow with a nice smile. Well. Sure. If that's your definition of "hot" . . . you know, being hot, then, fine. So much for being smart, talented, and nice . . . wait a minute. Holy Dog Water can write? He hates the Yankees, finds Gator fans annoying, and defends male horses falsely accused of sexual harassment? Well, then, who am I to complain? After all, the voters thought I was less hot than this guy:

Congratulations, Holy Dog Water, you lucky devil, you.

I commend coaches who try the "zero tolerance" route, but I think we miss the obvious that these measures work about as well at the "disciplinarian" programs as at the "loose ships". Georgia and Penn State have had as much off-field trouble as USC and Ohio State the last two years. Who knew?

This sweeping comparison is fair only if we are counting arrests and paying no heed to the nature of the allegedly criminal behavior at issue. Since December, four Bulldogs have between them amassed five arrests in four incidents: Ian Smith, who followed up on the infamous bathroom incident with a second alcohol-related arrest; Akeem Hebron, an incoming freshman whose back-to-back arrests in February and March got him suspended for two semesters, prompting a transfer; and Blake Barnes and Tripp Chandler, who reportedly walked down a sidewalk with beers in their hands.

To recap, the Georgia rogues gallery consists of players who drank while underage, drank while underage (twice), supplied an underage teammate with alcohol, and drank while underage . . . all in a college town that probably has the largest concentration of bars per capita of any city in the United States.

Jim Tressel and Maurice Clarett were shocked and appalled to learn that teenaged hooligans sometimes went away to college and drank beer.

This is a far cry from the state of affairs at schools that produce lengthy laundry lists of accusations (many of which, to be fair, remain unproven or resulted in exonerations) or that hand out suspensions during the summer rather than during the season as part of the S.E.C.'s toughest anti-alcohol policy (although, again in the interest of fairness, there is another side to the Penn State story, as well).

Even leaving aside the presumption of innocence, not all arrests are created equal, just as not all crimes involve the same degree of moral culpability. Accordingly, I disagree with the assertion that Georgia has "had as much off-field trouble" as some other high-profile elite athletics programs this offseason.

The arrests have been embarrassing and even one arrest is one arrest too many, but the overzealous enforcement of nitpicky regulations by glorified meter maids bent on turning every 19-year-old with a six-pack into a jailbird is in no way comparable to the charges of genuine wrongdoing leveled at student-athletes at other institutions. There are splittable differences here and the distinctions are not particularly subtle.

Go 'Dawgs!

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