Tuesday Afternoon Dawg Bites
Happy New Year! All of us here at Dawg Sports send our best wishes to everyone for a healthy and prosperous 2007.
It has been a very full weekend's worth of football, with regard to which I had a handful of random observations, for whatever they might be worth:
- Yesterday, Joe Paterno won his record-setting 22nd bowl game. In a related item, JoePa was declared the Coca-Cola fan of the game for his performance in the Outback Bowl, and, because the 80-year-old coach was wearing his Penn State blue, he won a year's supply of Bluebell ice cream. Honestly, what possible credit does Coach Paterno deserve for the Nittany Lions' victory? He was up in the booth, he wasn't wearing a headset, and, when the camera panned to him every five minutes, he appeared to be reacting as an observer rather than a participant. At no time did he even seem to be interacting with his assistant coaches. I believe it is now official: Joe Paterno has passed Bobby Bowden as the (figure)head coach most totally irrelevant to his program.
- The E.S.P.N. makeup crew must have taken the weekend off. On Saturday, Doug Flutie's nose looked like Jack Nicholson's after Roman Polanski got done with it in "Chinatown" and Sean Salisbury appeared to have been awakened from a deep sleep and sent directly onto the set in a drunken stupor after crying over the loss of a beloved pet.
- My son, Thomas, got a miniature Georgia football uniform for Christmas, complete with a child-sized helmet. In a moment of three-year-old silliness, Thomas put the chin strap over his mouth in an effort to elicit a mock-incredulous reaction from me, and I obliged, rolling my eyes and declaring, "It's a chin strap, not a mouth strap!" At the moment the words "mouth strap" passed my lips, I realized that I sounded just like Lou Holtz discussing an Agatha Christie play.
- New rule: Virginia Tech no longer will have to play teams from Georgia if teams from Georgia no longer will have to play West Virginia. Deal?
- Nothing drives me battier than a commentator choosing the most inopportune moment to force the square peg of a major bowl game into the round hole of his insipid advocacy of a Division I-A college football tournament. Near the end of the Fiesta Bowl, one of the nimrods in the booth injected an asinine observation about the "clamor" for a playoff. Uh, dude, an up-and-coming mid-major program that has never quite been able to get over the hump was moments away from winning the biggest game in the program's young history over a storied traditional power in a thrilling contest. That is not the moment to be shilling for a system that would have rendered such a game either impossible or meaningless.
- The Gator Bowl went as badly as it possibly could have gone for Chan Gailey. He didn't get the win, but his backup quarterback played well enough to raise more than mildly serious questions why Taylor Bennett hadn't been starting in place of Reggie Ball long before the boneheaded senior quarterback became the first academically-ineligible Georgia Tech signal-caller to be denied the opportunity to start a Gator Bowl in recent memory.
- Thomas isn't the only one who came away with a first-class Christmas haul. Check out Doug's gift tally. For my part, I got "Talladega Nights" on D.V.D. and, for the first time, I saw the scene at the conclusion of the end credits in which Ricky Bobby's mother and his sons discussed the symbolism of William Faulkner's "The Bear." After viewing that scene, I may have to revise my position that "The Dukes of Hazzard" is the greatest movie ever made. Your notions of what makes a fine Christmas gift are the subject of the latest poll question.
- I mentioned before how inconsequential Bobby Bowden and Joe Paterno have become to their respective programs' fortunes. Rather than continue serving as the co-Queen Elizabeths of college football, they should retire and co-star in a remake of "Grumpy Old Men," with Bobby in the Jack Lemmon role and JoePa playing the Walter Matthau part.
- First, the scroll read, "Cardinals fire Dennis Green." Then, the scroll read, "Falcons fire Jim Mora." Would anyone have been surprised if the next news item to appear at the bottom of the screen had read, "Cardinals hire Jim Mora" and/or "Falcons hire Dennis Green"?
- The B.C.S. is almost always controversial going into the bowl season, but there is almost never a legitimate dispute coming out of the bowl season. In 2000, 2001, and 2004, Miami, Oregon, and Auburn, respectively, were reduced to arguing, "Florida State/Nebraska/Oklahoma shouldn't have been the team that went and got hammered by Oklahoma/Miami/Southern California; we should have been the team that went and got bludgeoned into submission in the national championship game!" The rest of the time, the would-be contenders take care of themselves. I have all the respect in the world for the Michigan Wolverines and their fans, but, after the Rose Bowl, you can stick a fork into any argument that the Maize and Blue got jobbed out of a trip to Glendale, 'cause it is done.
- For anyone seeking further proof that West Coast fans do, in fact, take their football seriously, I would call your attention to the fact that, after I asked whether Karl Dorrell was the West Coast Ray Goff, I almost immediately received replies from What's Bruin, Dawg? and Bruins Nation.
- In addition to her other virtues as a sideline reporter, Bonnie Bernstein is a helpful indicator of the climatic conditions at the game she is covering. Not only will she don a horrible hat to combat the cold, but, if Bonnie is sans headgear, her hair is an unerring guide to how much humidity is in the air.
- When the Yellow Jackets were 9-2, many skeptics doubted Chan Gailey's ability to keep his string of consecutive five-loss seasons alive. Those naysayers should be ashamed of themselves and they owe Coach Gailey an apology.
- You know what would be even better than Bobby Bowden and Joe Paterno co-starring in a remake of "Grumpy Old Men"? The Manning family starring in a production of "The Lion in Winter," with Archie as King Henry II, Cooper as Geoffrey, Peyton as Richard Lionheart, and Eli as John. Picture Peyton, in Act I, Scene 2, saying, "You hardly know me, Eli, so I beg you to believe my reputation: I'm a constant quarterback and a sometime pitchman and I will be king." That's good stuff right there.
- Need yet another reason for opposing a playoff? Here's a good one: goony-bird nut-burger left-wing crackpot Ralph Nader is for one. I told you a college football playoff was just plain communist!
- Finally, I believe I saw on "SportsCenter" that, after scoring the Fiesta Bowl-winning two-point conversion on a brilliant play call that used Bob Stoops's scrupulous attention to detail against him, Ian Johnson proposed to his girlfriend on the sideline. I have to give credit to the Boise State running back . . . popping the question after clinching a victory in a B.C.S. bowl game probably outshone even my marriage proposal to my wife, which I prefaced with a karaoke rendition of Elvis Presley's "Can't Help Falling in Love." To those Dawg Sports readers who are married despite the colossal amounts of time they waste on the internet reading weblogs, I put this inquiry: "How did you propose to your spouse?/How did your spouse propose to you?" Your answers go in the comments below.
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Comments
Just a few
- Hold the phone. My brother, a UGA grad who also spent 6 years at State College (grad school, he is also a Doctor). JoPa is NOT irrelevant!!!! He is worshipped in a subtle Bear-like fashion. When that guy sits in a kid's living room, parents sign for the kid. He has donated just about all he has been paid back to the school. I once thought as you Kyle, but I seen it with me own two eyes. He IS the program. He is Uga, Sanford stadium, Herschel, Vince and run Lindsay run all in one. Bowden isn't in the same league. Not enough scruples and PSU is basically the only college show in town in PA.
- VT is in Virginia
- My peeve is the crappy job Fox is doing with these BCS games! When you don't televise college games all year, you shouldn't be allowed to do BIG Bowls. Who was in the booth last night with Alvarez? I never heard of him and it was like he was watching his first game. Why can't the NFL broadcast teams do these games? There isn't NFL competition at the same time. It is amateur night during the biggest games?!?! I would rather hear Bradshaw! Wasn't there someone else they could hire from Oklahoma to comment on that game last night? Switzer AND Johnson? That was a bit much too.
- BTW, don't you hate announcers that tell you what a player is thinking? I don't need to hear what you THINK he is thinking. Just make insightful commentary about the game, plays.... You know, what you know. If we wanted someone's ESP on display, the network should hire a palm reader or psychic.
by ssidedawg1 on Jan 2, 2007 2:44 PM EST 0 recs
sorry for that fragment
by ssidedawg1 on
Jan 2, 2007 2:50 PM EST
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Good points
- JoePa may still be relevant as a figurehead, but, at this point, I have a hard time believing Penn State's wins should be credited to his ledger. When Paterno retires, if P.S.U. promotes from within (as I believe they will), the new coach shouldn't start at 0-0, he should get credit for the previous three or four seasons' worth of Joe's games.
- I apologize if I was unclear about the Virginia Tech/West Virginia thing; I know that Virginia Tech is in Virginia (and, as a Constitutional matter, I believe West Virginia is in Virginia, too, but that's a separate conversation). What I meant was, over the course of the last calendar year, Georgia and Georgia Tech have had the Hokies' number, while the Mountaineers have gotten the better of the Bulldogs and the Yellow Jackets. (On the plus side, as painful as it was to get behind to W.V.U. early, come back, and fall just short, it would have been worse to have been handing it to the Mountain Men before allowing them to mount a successful comeback. Not all 38-35 losses to West Virginia are created equally.)
- You are totally right about the Fox broadcasting crew. What Winston Churchill said about democracy may be applicable (in revised form) to A.B.C./Disney/E.S.P.N. . . . it's the worst way of covering sports, except for all the others that have been tried. Barry Switzer's references to Oklahoma as "we" seemed over the top even to him, and Barry's scruples are, shall we say, less than exacting. The rule should be that, if there is a building on the campus of one of the two teams named after you, you can't broadcast the game.
by T Kyle King on
Jan 2, 2007 3:39 PM EST
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agree
I agree 38-35 can be viewed at least two ways.
I hope the rest of the Fox BCS games get better. What's next? The NASCAR or MLB crews doing their BCS games? I guess they figure, what else are we going to do?
by ssidedawg1 on
Jan 2, 2007 5:49 PM EST
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Fair enough
Nothing Joe Paterno did on January 1, 2007, had any more of an impact on Penn State's victory in the Outback Bowl than anything I did on December 30, 2006, had on Georgia's victory in the Chick-fil-A Bowl.
by T Kyle King on
Jan 2, 2007 6:10 PM EST
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Fox's BCS Coverage
I'm still waiting for that 'run/pass option' with Zabransky. What was that, said like 4000 times during that broadcast?
by CAJason80 on
Jan 3, 2007 12:07 PM EST
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funny
by ssidedawg1 on
Jan 3, 2007 4:18 PM EST
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--- In the shadow of the Arches....
As luck would have it, there was a student who was working on a photography project at the Arches. We asked him to take our picture - so I have a perfect momento of that evening - a picture of the two of us - recently betrothed - under the Arches. Its a great picture taken on a great day.
She now claims the only reason she said 'yes' was that she was afraid I would leave her in Athens with no way home if she had said 'no'.
by Blogger who came in from the cold on Jan 2, 2007 3:10 PM EST 0 recs
It is with great pain, humility, and
I don't want to be perceived as someone who is overly picky, but I don't think it's overly picky to insist that one refers to the symbol of our great University accurately.
Please accept this humble note with my sincerest apologies, but understand I am as earnest in my correction as I can possibly be.
It's a much bigger deal to me than even the disappointment caused by the fact that it is now acceptable to pronounce "dissect" as though it rhymes with "bisect". [shudder]
All that having been said, yours is a lovely story made all the more magical by the serendipitous appearance of a photographer to commemorate the occasion. I congratulate you on your sense of romance, creativity, and (presumably) continuing marriage.
by NCT on
Jan 2, 2007 5:45 PM EST
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Dr. Pangloss is in the house
The most recent exhibit:
"Uh, dude, an up-and-coming mid-major program that has never quite been able to get over the hump was moments away from winning the biggest game in the program's young history over a storied traditional power in a thrilling contest. That is not the moment to be shilling for a system that would have rendered such a game either impossible or meaningless."
Why, precisely, would such a matchup be impossible if we had a playoff system? And why would it be meaningless? More to the point, why would it be more or less meaningless than in the present situation? As it stands, Boise State is undefeated and has no chance of claiming a national championship.
In your defense, the NCAA basketball tournament is dreadfully dull, and mid majors like Gonzaga routinely record victories which are both impossible and meaningless. I'm begining to see your point..... LOL.
by 34hawk on Jan 2, 2007 3:29 PM EST 0 recs
Voltaire?!?!
I am not sure why you conflate "dreadfully dull" with "meaningless." The N.C.A.A. basketball tournament is not boring, largely because its opening rounds produce many thrilling and cognitive dissonance-inducing upsets, but much of it is meaningless, for two reasons.
First of all, the tournament crowns a clear champion, but that clarity often comes at the expense of accuracy, much as the Bohr model of the atom is more lucid than the electron cloud model, but the electron cloud model's lack of certainty provides a truer picture of the atom it is intended to represent. Jimmy V's N.C. State team makes for a great story but a completely incoherent No. 1 ranking; the same goes for the 1997 world champion Florida Marlins and last year's Super Bowl-winning Pittsburgh Steelers.
Secondly, how many of those Gonzaga victories produce tournament titles? In a winner-take-all system (which is the only possible way to characterize the N.C.A.A. tournament), all victories are hollow except a season-ending win; otherwise, all a team can claim is that it lost later than anticipated.
Meanwhile, Boise State (a team most unlikely to run a three- or four-game playoff gauntlet to win the N.C.A.A. equivalent of the Super Bowl) has a B.C.S. bowl victory to its credit, which is a meaningful achievement. George Mason's final four appearance is a heartwarming footnote that pales to insignificance by comparison.
It is, of course, true that Boise State has no chance at the national championship. We know this because B.Y.U. didn't win the 1984 national title, just as the Zags didn't win all those tournament games. Also, I didn't write a posting offering a case on behalf of B.S.U.
I also am not sure how you are able simultaneously to acknowledge that I favor changing the system to restore the traditional bowl structure and to claim that I believe we currently are living in the best of all possible worlds. Doesn't my desire to do things differently indicate that the Dr. Pangloss comparison is obviously false? Is my desire to propose reasonable, historically-proven changes rather than roll the dice and accept much more radical revisions really comparable to a blind faith that all is well exactly as it stands?
Please note that I wrote that a playoff system would render games like the Fiesta Bowl "either impossible or meaningless" . . . one or the other, but not both.
Either a playoff system wouldn't have allowed such a matchup as occurred in the Fiesta Bowl (which might have been the case, despite Boise State's undefeated record, due to the Broncos strength of schedule . . . a key component of the R.P.I., which plays a role in the selection of a basketball tournament field whose seeding often is a good deal more murky, secretive, and baffling than college football's bowl pairings) or B.S.U.'s stirring win over Oklahoma would have been a precusor to one of two events: most likely, elimination in a subsequent round of the playoffs or, less plausibly but still possibly, a late-season tournament run culminating in a national title that raised as many eyebrows as the numerous N.C.A.A. tournament results in which a mediocre team's hot streak in March proved much more meaningful than a consistently good team's season-long performance, which was negated by a stumble in a single game.
Personally, I'd rather know that all the games counted instead of arbitrarily selecting a few late-season games as the only ones that really matter. In any case, though, I appreciate your comments, as always, and I send my best wishes for a healthy and happy new year to your family and you, 34hawk.
by T Kyle King on
Jan 2, 2007 4:27 PM EST
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Pat Summerall and Life Support
While I was pulling for the Kairn-Huskers (that's how they pronounce 'em back in the heartland), Auburn perservered in spite of the worst play-by-play team ever assembled to cover a major sporting event. Who was the color guy? Puddy from Seinfeld? Man, that was bad tv.
by DavetheDawg on Jan 2, 2007 5:30 PM EST 0 recs
How many times has he retired?
I love Lundquist. Tells a bit of a story in the play by play. Doesnt overpower or have pre-prepared catch phrases. I think Blackledge is adequate, but he shouldnt do Penn State games. I am old enough to hate Marino and Blackledge anyhow. Those were tough loses in the 80's. What coulda been, what coulda been.
I wasnt a big Musberger fan, but with some of these hacks, I have grown to appreciate him.
While I am piling on... PLEASE get rid of Holtz. Ugh, that is difficult to watch/listen. Besides, could he hate Georgia more?
by ssidedawg1 on
Jan 2, 2007 6:21 PM EST
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You confuse criticism
So please don't throw a toaster oven.
The weakest links in your apologetics for a college bowl system are on full display in this post.
In order to defend the present system you define as "meaningless" any post-season game which is followed by another. For example:
"Shouldn't we treat those previous meetings as though they meant something rather than rendering them immaterial by ... forcing the winners to prove themselves anew?"
And most transparently here: "all victories are hollow except a season-ending win."
I am unaware of anyone, other than yourself, who shares this peculiar perspective regarding which games are and are not meaningful. It is a ridiculous and fanciful construction and it deserves to be widely and loudly mocked.
Additionally, you are fond of declaming that any great game that occurs under the bowl system is unlikely (or indeed impossible) to have occured in a playoff system.
You get no credit for combining these two dubious premises in your apologetics.
Additionally, the and/or distinction you seek to draw between the impossible and/or meaningless matchup you imagine is itself a red herring, because under any reasonable playoff system the BSU/Oklahoma matchup is both possible and meaningful.
by 34hawk on Jan 2, 2007 5:53 PM EST 0 recs
"meaningfulness" pre-champ game losses
Although I have to confess that I doubt it compares as favorably as BS's relish over winning a BCS bowl.
by NCT on
Jan 2, 2007 7:37 PM EST
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I apologize if I took your remarks too personally
In the 2000 presidential election, Al Gore received something like 49.9% of the popular votes cast in Florida. (My math may be off, slightly or significantly; if so, I regret it, but it is of little consequence, since the point is that he came very close to receiving a majority yet fell somewhat short of it.)
Suppose, however, that, instead of receiving 49.9% of the popular votes cast in Florida, Vice President Gore received 0.0% of the popular votes cast in Florida. In other words, imagine that George W. Bush had won the Sunshine State unanimously rather than narrowly.
What difference would that have made?
If presidential elections were decided upon the basis of the nationwide popular vote totals, that distinction would have made an enormous difference. Vice President Gore received a majority of all of the popular votes cast nationwide, but, had he received no votes in Florida, he would have gone from winning the nationwide popular vote to losing the nationwide popular vote. In sum, the difference between 49.9% in Florida and 0.0% in Florida would have been the difference between winning and losing the presidency.
Under the electoral college system, however, the gap separating 49.9% from 0.0% is a distinction without a difference, because Florida's electoral votes were a winner-take-all proposition. If Governor Bush received more Floridian votes than Vice President Gore, it is of no importance whether the margin of victory was one or one million. Either way, Governor Bush received 100% of Florida's electoral votes and, hence, the presidency.
I maintain that tournament systems are winner-take-all propositions. For a baseball team to win its division is of no real importance; the Atlanta Braves owned the National League East for a decade and a half, but routinely lost in the playoffs, whereas the 1997 Florida Marlins won none of the National League's three divisions, yet still (and incongruously) they were the National League champions because they took four of the seven games designated for that purpose, rendering moot the 162 games that decided the division race. For Braves fans, the division banners flapping in the breeze over Turner Field are maddening symbols of frustration rather than emblems of unprecedented achievement.
Likewise, a Division I men's basketball team scarcely cares about winning its regular-season conference championship, because that season-long result is immaterial when compared alongside the importance of winning the postseason conference tournament, which, yet again, pales in comparison to the importance of winning what is called "The Big Dance" for a reason.
Because college football does not have such a winner-take-all mentality, a team may celebrate a championship season even if it loses its bowl game. The 1948, 1968, 1976, 1981, 1982, and 2005 Georgia football teams all lost in postseason play . . . but seeing the S.E.C. championship banner unfurled in Sanford Stadium at the first game of the 2006 season was not one whit less stirring than seeing the S.E.C. championship banner unfurled in Sanford Stadium at the first game of the 2003 season.
You are right that we cannot really know how exciting a Division I-A college football playoff would be, although it sure seems to me that an awful lot of the Division I-AA college football playoff games are routs. Last Saturday's Boston College-Navy, Iowa-Texas, and Georgia-Virginia Tech bowl games produced a better slate of back-to-back-to-back postseason games than I ever remember seeing on an N.F.L. wild card weekend.
Even if the games are just as thrilling, though, the diminished importance of the regular season in a playoff system cannot be doubted. Last year, South Carolina beat Florida in football and swept Florida in basketball during the regular season. The gridiron result was a big deal for all concerned; the hardwood outcomes are mildly interesting footnotes to the Gators' national championship campaign.
Had there been a Division I-A college football playoff in place in 1980, it simply would not have mattered whether Buck Belue completed the pass to Lindsay Scott, because a 10-1 S.E.C. champion would have made the tournament field, anyway. I, for one, like that the greatest play in Georgia football history mattered.
Maybe Al Gore feels good about almost winning the presidency. If so, good for him. If he takes solace in the moral victory of coming within a whisker of carrying Florida, or if George Mason revels in the moral victory of winning more games than expected before losing in the N.C.A.A. tournament, I applaud their ability to find the silver lining.
Boise State just won the biggest game in school history, though, and the significance of that result will never be diminished. Boise State, unlike George Mason, doesn't get a few days' worth of gee-isn't-it-cute-that-a-small-school-got-this-far media fawning before having its accomplishment reduced to dust by a subsequent, season-ending setback; the Broncos will be the undefeated 2007 Fiesta Bowl champions for the rest of time.
Postseason tournaments are premised on what Reese Bobby told his son, Ricky, at career day: "If you ain't first, you're last." Reese was high at the time, and, years later, when he sobered up, he taught his son the truth and Ricky Bobby learned the same lesson Lightning McQueen learned in another racing movie released that same year.
There's more to life than the crystal football or the Piston Cup. The bowl system recognizes and rewards that fact. Playoff systems deny and destroy it.
by T Kyle King on
Jan 2, 2007 7:48 PM EST
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Coke fan of the game...
pwd
by Paulwesterdawg on Jan 3, 2007 1:17 AM EST 0 recs










