If my plan for dramatically rearranging the college football conferences did not appear overwhelming in the initial proposal for revamping the Sun Belt Conference, perhaps the latest league reshuffling will raise an eyebrow or two.
I have kept the moniker "Conference U.S.A." because the recommended new conference bearing that name stretches from sea to shining sea. I envision a league composed of colleges at which football is something of an afterthought.
Generally, these are small private institutions and/or basketball schools that were a bit out of place in the major Division I-A conferences in which they presently or previously competed.
Because dorky misfits deserve to play football with their own kind.
Accordingly, I unveil the smarter, truly transcontinental reorganization of Conference U.S.A.:
Honestly, if you were a fan of any of those schools, wouldn't you breathe a massive sigh of relief at the thought that you no longer had to play football in a rugged major conference like the Big Ten, the Big 12, the Pac-10, or the S.E.C.?
The football might not be great, but Miss Norbury would find the new Conference U.S.A. a fertile recruiting ground for mathletes.
Tulane withdrew from the Southeastern Conference years ago; Temple was kicked out of the Big East; plenty of Dawg Sports readers are ready to expel Kentucky from the league right now and some Wildcats fans might not complain if we did. Why not admit the reality of the situation and create a balanced league competing at a low level on the gridiron and at a high level on the hardwood?
Due to their longtime association as Big Ten members, Indiana and Northwestern would serve as one another's permanent interdivision rivals. Guy Morriss' defection from Lexington to Waco makes a yearly Baylor-Kentucky grudge match an intriguing prospect and alliteration arranges annual affairs pitting Rice against Rutgers and Temple against Tulane. Vanderbilt and Wake Forest provide a suitable fit in the South, leaving the Blue Devils and the Cardinal to log the frequent flier miles every other year.
The conference championship game would be held in St. Louis, the Gateway to the West.
I present the retooled and improved Conference U.S.A.
Coming up next . . . the Mid-American Conference.