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July is the horse latitudes of the college football offseason. National Signing Day, spring practices and the NFL Draft all push a little wind into the sails of a football fan. But there's nothing like that in July. The air is dead still. There's no momentum. And if you're Nick Saban you have to decide whether you're going to throw Terrance Cody over the side of the boat to lighten the load, or feed him to your starving crew. It's a tough choice.

In the meantime, a college football fan can only look for other means of sporting amusement.

For example, there's always baseball. Speaking of which, can someone please explain to me how the Atlanta Braves are only 2 games out of the lead in the N.L. East? Every time I watch them they're either trying to end a losing streak or gacking one up to begin a new streak. Then either the Phillies, Marlins or Mets forget how to play baseball for a week, and the Bravos are right back in it. Watching someone try to take control of that division is like watching a chimp try to open a walnut with knitting needles.

And then there's soccer. Of course the United States' team just completed an exciting run in the Confederations Cup, which I understand to be a reasonably big deal in the world of soccer, though not as big a deal as the World Cup. I think it's sort of the MAC Championship Game of international futbol. Which I follow about as closely as the price of guava futures on the Curacao Commodities Exchange. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of the United States being competitive in international soccer. But I've learned from experience that the U.S. National soccer team is the organized sporting equivalent of your ne'er-do-well cousin Walter. Everytime you think he's going to get it together, he shows up on your doorstep with four days of stubble after a three day drunk, a truly sad state of affairs for a guy with a Ph.D. from M.I.T. I'm curbing my emthusiasm regarding the futbol for the moment.

If, like our fearless leader, you're looking to unwind with a good book, I'd recommend Bill Heavey's If You Didn't Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat? Heavey is a longtime columnist for Field & Stream whose wit and self-deprecating style should resonate with all outdoors enthusiasts who possess more zeal than skill. In other words, most of us.

Of course, you could also follow football recruiting through the summer. I'll be doing a good bit of that next week, as I try to catch up on the TMI previews of some of our newest commitments for the class of 2010. If anybody has any requests, I'd certainly be willing to listen.

In the meantime, August cannot get here soon enough. Unfortunately, as Railroad Earth points out, we've still got a long way to go:

Go 'Dawgs!!!

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Friday Morning Dawg Bites

by T Kyle King on Jul 3, 2009 10:23 AM EDT in News Comment 1 comment

I generally have eschewed "link dump" posts in recent months, but there was enough stuff going on in the blogosphere that I thought it warranted taking up a few moments of your time to hit some of the highlights . . . although, if you’re looking for the short version, you may want to read the first and last bullet points and skip the rest:

Rarely will a sports fan receive a more encouraging endorsement than this. I hope to have an update on that effort in the near future. Stay tuned, and G.A.T.A.

If you want to feel better about the Oklahoma State game, Dr. Saturday has the preview for you.

Speaking of Dr. Saturday, I have a brief bit of good news for Brian Cook in response to this recent post. However little he may think of SB Nation, Brian will be relieved to learn that the Sunday Morning Quarterback content didn’t go anywhere.

Is Damon Evans to blame for the decline of Bulldog athletics? I don’t think that’s a fair criticism of our athletic director, whose status as a Georgia alumnus and former football player gives him good reasons for caring about more than just the financial bottom line. A lot of factors go into those numbers, including the collapse of Georgia men’s basketball under Dennis Felton (a situation Evans has gone to great lengths to remedy), rough seasons for otherwise successful coaches David Perno in 2007 and Andy Landers last year, the Florida Gators and LSU Tigers each claiming two national championships in football in the last six years, the resurgence of Bayou Bengal baseball, and the elevation of Gator men’s basketball. This is the kind of thing where critics need to name names; if there’s a sport in which Georgia is underperforming to a degree that a head coach (as opposed to, say, a defensive coordinator) needs to be let go, tell me the sport, the head coach, and the reasons why. I’m not saying such coaches don’t exist, but, if they do, that’s where the discussion needs to be focused.

I’m not going to lie to you; I don’t care the first thing about cycling. Many sports fans do, however, and, since a loyal Dawg Sports reader e-mailed me about a series of Tour de France preview articles, I thought I’d direct you toward them. Maize ‘n’ Brew Dave, by contrast, sent me a link to something that was more up my alley.

I am pleased to report that Robert Dean Lurie, an old friend of mine from college, has entered the blogosphere (albeit not in a sports-related capacity). Back in the days when Rob was referring to me as "the most dangerous man on campus," the only column of mine The Red and Black refused to run during my days as the University of Georgia student newspaper’s token conservative controversialist was one about Rob’s music. Incidentally, his first book recently was released and I plan to spend the next week reading it, for reasons to which I will get anon.

Did the old bowl system qualify as "the bad old days"? Not to anyone who enjoys competitive games to settle national championships, it didn’t. Senator Blutarsky chimes in, as well.

You know, I know, and the American people know that there have been times in the last six months that I have been mailing it in here at Dawg Sports. Lately, I’ve been testy, irritable, and ill-humored. This is due in large part to the fact that I haven’t taken back-to-back business days off from work for any reason other than illness in two years, and it shows. Consequently, I am pleased to report that I’ll be taking next week off to spend some time with my family, read a good book, and unwind a little. While I do not anticipate posting anything next week, MaconDawg will be here, as always, and several regular commenters graciously have agreed to take up the slack, so you’ll get to hear a few new voices given center stage during "open mic week" at Dawg Sports.

Aside from my traditional Independence Day posting tomorrow, I’m out of here for a week. Be good, be safe, and God bless America.

Go ‘Dawgs!

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Which Opposing Player Does Bulldog Nation Hate the Most?

by T Kyle King on Jul 2, 2009 9:09 PM EDT in Football Comment 29 comments

Hate may not be a family value . . .

. . . but it’s damned sure a football value!

Look, don’t take this personally or anything, but, if you aren’t a Georgia fan, I probably don’t like you very much. That’s all right, though, because, if you aren’t a Georgia fan, you probably don’t like me very much, either.

After I answered a sports researcher’s questions about taunting between fan bases, I found out just how much Tennessee fans hate us . . . heck, they even hate our dog, which is just mean.

It always baffles me to be reminded that South Carolina fans hate us, just as it surprises me to learn that some Georgia fans hate Alabama, although, given the recent records of achievement compiled by the Bulldogs and the Crimson Tide, I get why such laughter-inducingly misguided broadsides as this silly slur on the Red and Black would bring a Bulldog fan to despise the Tide. (Way to focus on one game and pretend the rest of the last decade hasn’t happened, guys. I hope that eases the sting of the Louisiana-Monroe loss.)

As human beings generally, and as sports fans particularly, we are defined by what we despise as well as by what we love. (If you happen to be a Georgia Tech fan, you’re defined totally by what you hate and may be incapable of love, or at least require kissing lessons.)

I propose that we take it down a notch, from the team-specific to the player-specific. Already certain names have popped into your head, haven’t they? Steve Detwiler. David Treadwell. Kent Hrbek. Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain. (All right, technically, that last one wasn’t from a sports rivalry, unless you happen to believe that war is a metaphor for sports.)

There are even some guys you can’t bring yourself to hate, like Peyton Manning or Tim Tebow (as opposed to the media glorification of Tim Tebow, which is something altogether different), because they seem like genuinely good guys, so you can’t even dislike them personally . . . although I suppose that may make some folks hate them all the more.

What players are on your personal "most hated" list, and why? Let me know in the comments below.

Go ‘Dawgs!

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Maybe If He'd Just Driven Through the Living Room and Left . . .

by MaconDawg on Jul 2, 2009 12:30 PM EDT Comment 3 comments

I rarely delve into college football police blotter news. That's partially because Orson Swindle does it so, so much better than I ever could. And because it's a slippery slope. This time of year, if I wrote up every legal indiscretion involving a member of the college pigskin community I'd have time for nothing else. Including bathing, and none of us wants that. But just occasionally, there is a convergence of perp and circumstance that just cries out for recognition.

While it certainly lacks the panache (and horsepower) of Sergio Kindle's midnight ride, just such a moment occurred over the weekend in Knoxville, Tennessee. Former University of Tennessee quarterback and All-Name teamer Jim Bob Cooter was arrested on charges of aggravated burglary Friday after a tip from a female 911 caller. That Cooter was in her bed. Stop laughing. Why is everybody laughing? No, I'm not making this up.

Cooter allegedly crawled in the woman's window, stripped down to his skivvies, then jumped in the sack. It's been a while since I took criminal law, and I've never read the Tennessee penal code. But I always thought that "breaking and entering" or "trespassing" were when you broke into someone's house, and "burglary" was when you broke into someone's house with the intent to steal stuff. I have no idea what Jim Bob was allegedly trying to steal when the nice lady jumped out of bed and called the cops. I'll leave that one to your imagination (and the prosecution's).

At any rate, kudos to Jim Bob Cooter, for perpetrating a crime which actually sounds more like a long lost Three's Company episode (with Peyton Manning as Mr. Farley and Travis Henry as Larry the swinging bachelor neighbor) than a serious transgression. My guess is that he stumbled drunk into the wrong apartment without his keys. Which is funny at 19 but not so much at 25, which Jim Bob will be tomorrow. Happy birthday, sir. Also, kudos to VolunteerTV in the link above for pointing out that Jim Bob's real name is "James Robert". Because Knoxville may be the only place on Earth where that doesn't go without saying.

Until later, lock your doors and windows, and . . .

Go 'Dawgs!!!

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Why the Georgia Bulldogs Will Not Play the Michigan Wolverines in 2010 . . . or Probably Ever

by T Kyle King on Jul 1, 2009 9:23 PM EDT in Football Comment 7 comments

Never gonna happen, my friend.

All right, I really wasn’t planning to write anything more about this, other than noting it dismissively, especially since the author of the original piece felt moved to add this caveat after his gossiping began to gain some traction:

UPDATE: I’d like to clarify that the sources I refer to are not from the Michigan Athletic Department, and this still remains a rumor

This is that particular author’s politically correct way of saying, "I am utterly full of unmitigated crap." However, since this bit of baseless conjecture has proven yet again that a lie can travel from Maine to Georgia while truth is still getting on its boots, it is time to put this idea to rest, once and for all.

I begin, however, with a caveat: I strongly favor a home-and-home series between Georgia and Michigan. Having openly agitated for such an arrangement in the past, and having thought we were close to getting a deal done at one point, I had my hopes dashed and I now believe the Bulldogs and the Wolverines will never meet outside of a Sunshine State bowl game.

Nevertheless, because enthusiasm understandably is high among Big Ten partisans, it is necessary for me to emphasize that this rumor was pulled out of thin air. In this case, "thin air" is a euphemism for "the rumormonger’s hindquarters."

Because he bothered to check the schedule, Brian Cook knows this is nonsense. There simply isn’t room for Michigan on the schedule in 2010. In addition to playing Georgia Tech at Grant Field, the Bulldogs have a road game against Colorado in Boulder. This is the return game from the Buffaloes’ 2006 trip to Athens. Colorado (quite understandably) would not want to let Georgia out of this contractually-mandated contest, and Damon Evans (quite understandably) would not be willing to give up the home game.

Moreover, in stark contrast to the purveyor of this rumor (who explicitly states that his "source" is not someone in the Michigan athletic department), David Hale was in Butts-Mehre Heritage Hall when this supposed "story" broke, and he couldn’t find anyone who knew the first thing about it. David has proven himself as a reporter covering the Bulldog beat, so, if he asked around and couldn’t sniff out the story, there is no story out to be sniffed.

Finally, Georgia has played at Ann Arbor twice already and would never agree to a regular-season series with Michigan that didn’t involve bringing the Maize and Blue to the Classic City. That fact is important because, to be blunt, the Wolverines will play a regular-season road game against an SEC team over Bill Martin’s dead body. I state that position with conviction because I wrote the Michigan athletic director about such a prospect and he sent me a polite reply in which he identified the Wolverines’ long term contract with Notre Dame as the chief impediment to such a series. He then proceeded to renew the arrangement with the Fighting Irish for the next umpteen jillion years.

I don’t think Michigan is running scared---the Wolverines have a good enough record against the SEC that they have no reason for being afraid---but the fact is that, outside of State College (where over a century of athletic independence has not been overcome by a decade and a half of conference affiliation), Big Ten teams don’t schedule SEC teams, period.

Should it happen? Eventually, it absolutely should. Will it happen? Probably not in Bill Martin’s lifetime, and probably not at all. Is it going to happen in 2010? No, it isn’t.

Move along, folks; there’s nothing to see here. We now return to our regularly-scheduled offseason, which is already in progress.

Go ‘Dawgs!

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I'm not buying this for a second . . .

. . . but it was worth a mention, nevertheless.

(Much obliged to the fine fellows at The Rivalry, Esq., for bringing it to my attention.)

Go 'Dawgs!

2 days ago T Kyle King comment 9 comments 0 recs

Texas Linebacker Sergio Kindle Hits Like a Ton of Bricks.

by MaconDawg on Jun 30, 2009 12:00 PM EDT Comment 4 comments

Just ask the folks at the Jefferson West apartments in Austin. At some point early wednesday morning the senior Longhorn linebacker appears to have been texting behind the wheel and managed to drive into the apartment of UT student Ashley Zapata. Said her roommate "She would be dead if she had been sitting at her desk."

But, like most college students in Austin, she was not home at 1:30 a.m. on a wednesday morning. For this her parents should be thankful. If the poor girl were a student at Rice she might have been seriously injured. Kindle was not too seriously injured in the wreck to push his car out of the apartment and back down the street, then go home to get some rest, according to his lawya' Brian Roark. Actually, Roark appears to be a proper lawyer, quite possibly one hastily retained to explain things to the Austin authorities. Roark did just that, explaining that after the incident his client "knew he was hurt at the time and that he needed to go home and go to bed." Not call the cops. Not go to the E.R. Get some rest.

Now, "going home to get some rest" sounds a lot like "leaving the scene of a serious accident" to me. And I seem to recall hearing that going to sleep is about the worst thing a concussed person can do. Other than getting concussed again. It is the best thing you can do after a night of drinking. And Kindle has had a previous visit from the D.W.I. fairy (who, for reference, is a dead ringer for Jerry Glanville with a wand that looks a lot like a Pabst Blue Ribbon bottle), so at least so far as the Court of Public Opinion goes, this may not have been a great move. Put another way, I don't know what Kindle did, but I know what it sounds like. Amazingly, ESPN reports that leaving the scene of a vehicle/building collision may not be against the law in Texas. This is however the sort of thing that any self-respecting NFL GM in a post-Donte Stallworth world will likely place near the front of his mental rolodex. Al Davis on the other hand is intrigued by the young man's decisionmaking ability, and the various members of the Rankin Smith family may try to buy the Falcons back just for the chance to draft him. Assuming he's slow enough.

Now, as a Georgia football fan I cannot seriously chide any program for vehicular hijinx. Because in Athens we've dang near cornered the market. But really, the only reason for posting this is that it was a conspicuous excuse to also post a picture of Kindle's car*, precrash:

Hook 'em Horns, indeed.

And the absolute best part of the story? The piece de resistance? The car, at least according to one report, was registered to Kindle's father . . . . . . . . Johnny Walker.

What can I say? When the world of college sports serves up a high soft one, we here at Dawgsports like to swing from the heels. Until tomorrow, keep it between the lines Sergio, and . . .

Go 'Dawgs!!!

* Not really Sergio Kindle's car. Life couldn't possibly be that poetic. This is Mack Brown's car.

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